Calling it a "merger" is a euphemism. It is less of a joining, more of an ending.

In 1995, no one at the new KHNL newsroom would have dreamed what we built would end so quickly. I kept some of the promotional tchotchkes they gave us: KHNL Hawaii News 8 chip clips, an NBC Hawaii Today coffee mug, a key fob from the network affiliation switch party. Those all seem like artifacts now, souvenirs of big talk and big dreams.

Everyone at KHNL was taking a chance that this new fast-paced, technology-driven style of delivering the local news would turbocharge their careers. Nobody took the job to stay comfy until retirement. The place was thick with ambition, which everyone needed because the bumps in the road were craters.

In the beginning, before we were ever on air, we would go out to cover stories for practice newscasts no one ever saw. The general manager of another station busted my chops at a public event saying, "Hey, girlie, what time is this gonna be on? Ha ha ha!" We got that kind of trash talk all the time. We did our work and vented our frustration in the privacy of the news cars.

When the newscasts did launch on air, they were an ugly mess of glitches. The first all-digital newsroom in the country was the "beta test site" for the new technology, and we found every single bug the hard way. But we kept going. The next newscast was another chance to make it all work.

The list of people who came and went at KHNL was legendarily long, even 10 years ago. A start-up operation is rough, and people got disillusioned and worn out. A guy on our team used to make coconut hats for everyone's going-away present. He left, I left, many of the team we worked with left. I don't know most of the people who work there now, but I do know something about them: I know that all these years later, when the people who first launched KHNL's news have scattered to the winds, the ones who will put that effort to bed are probably more brave than the gutsy crew that started it.

Last week, reporter Paul Drewes was on set to introduce a story about the layoffs at KHNL. At the end, he confirmed that he was included on that list. He added that all of those losing their jobs would continue to deliver the news to the best of their abilities until the end. It is sad that it is ending, but what a dignified way to go.