A year ago I went out for drinks with a few friends.

Armed with BlackBerrys and iPhones, they set their alarms to one date: April 2, 2009.

It was the day, they declared, that I would start dating.

It was funny at the time, the idea that it would take 12 months for me to get back out there after a breakup. "I'm friendly, I know a lot of people," I thought to myself, shrugging. "I'll meet someone."

But this month makes a year of being single. And I'm as surprised as my friends — all of whom forgot they set those alarms — that the year went by so quickly.

Sure, at first it was hard to readjust to single life. I had lived with my then-boyfriend for about five years, sharing toothpaste and arguing over what TV station to watch. I was used to having someone around, even if he was in the other room.

Then suddenly, I was alone.

I had always said the best months of my life were just before I had met my ex, when I swore off dating for four months and lived selfishly, something I don't think many women do often enough. I surfed whenever I wanted, played guitar in the middle of the night, ate Lucky Charms for dinner. It was great.

But I tend to settle into relationships, too, reveling in the reliable Friday night date and a reason to wear heels.

It's hard to say which scenario I prefer: single and the freedom it brings or coupled and the security that provides.

Both have their unique side effects.

Being single, I don't have to buy groceries for two or compromise on the next DVD from Netflix. I can eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's without the lecture on its future effect on my thighs and watch "The Hills" marathon on MTV without having to explain my strange affinity for celebrity voyeurism.

But being in a couple has its upsides, too.

We shared laundry and cleaning duties. We sampled each other's dinners. We always had a date to the next wedding.

Your partner knows you like no one else. He knows exactly what to say to make you laugh (or want to throw inanimate objects at his head). He knows when you're feeling sad or frustrated or hungry for chicken katsu without having to look at your Facebook status.

If you get it right, you can be coupled with your best friend. And that tops being single any day.

But I can't say I haven't enjoyed my year of singlehood.

I've done things that I would've never done in my past relationship. Like get a puppy or spend every weekend finishing a surf session with a box — shared, of course — of doughnuts.

I've had more time to spend with friends, more free Sundays to finish projects I've ignored for years, more room in my refrigerator to stock up on the foods only I like.

I can honestly say I'm happy, even on that Friday night I spent on the couch with my dog — and a box of Kleenex — watching that week's "Grey's Anatomy."

Because you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy.

You just have to know where to find it.

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com. Read her daily blog at blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com.