I'm hard on our public officials sometimes, but I know what stressful jobs they have.

That's why at the start of a new year, I like to bury the hatchet, smooth ruffled feathers I've caused and show how I really feel by sharing warm sentiments drawn from our sharpest minds.

If recipients misconstrue my meaning and take offense, I offer them the wisdom of J. Russell Lynes: "If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved."

And of course, they can find solace in knowing they're important enough to be on the list.

To President-elect Barack Obama: "Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame." — Laurence J. Peter

To Gov. Linda Lingle: "We're going to move left and right at the same time." — Jerry Brown

To Lt. Gov. James "Duke" Aiona: "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." — Samuel Johnson

To former Gov. Ben Cayetano: "Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." — Ronald Reagan

To U.S. Sen. Daniel Inouye: "Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples." — George Burns

To U.S. Sen. Daniel Akaka: "Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." — Stephen Wright

To U.S. Rep. Neil Abercrombie: "In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap." — Napoleon Bonaparte

To U.S. Rep. Mazie Hirono: "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." — Timothy Leary

To former U.S. Rep. Ed Case "If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it." — W.C. Fields

To Senate President Colleen Hanabusa: "No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the Legislature is in session." — Judge Gideon J. Tucker

To House Speaker Calvin Say: "The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly,' meaning 'many,' and the word 'ticks,' meaning 'blood sucking parasites.' " — Larry Hardiman

To House Minority Leader Lynn Finnegan: "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." — Herm Albright

To State Auditor Marion Higa: "Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." — Mark Twain

To Mayor Mufi Hannemann: "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." — John Bright

To City Councilman Rod Tam: "The problem with political jokes is they get elected." — Henry Cate VII

To anti-rail activist Cliff Slater: "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject." — Winston Churchill

To Schools Superintendent Pat Hamamoto: "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance." — Andy McIntyre

To attorney and former Bishop estate Trustee Gerard Jervis: "I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol ... I break out in handcuffs." — Robert Downey Jr.

To former state tourism chief Rex Johnson: "To err is human — and to blame it on a computer is even more so." — Robert Orben

To University of Hawai'i football coach Greg McMackin: "There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offense. In other words a good offense wins." — Dan Quayle

To former UH coach June Jones: "All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work." — Steve Martin

David Shapiro, a veteran Hawai'i journalist, can be reached by e-mail at dave@volcanicash.net. His columns are archived at www.volcanicash.net. Read his daily blog at blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com.