Lord knows there's very little going on in my life outside work, so most of my amusement these days comes from observing The Boy, now 15, in the throes of teenage L-O-V-E. Hilarious.

He's known his "girlfriend" since last summer when they became acquainted through paddling, but they've been "dating" for only about three months. I'm using all those quotation marks because during that time they've actually been on only four real dates, all to the movies.

Most of their together time happens in a crowd at canoe races, over the phone and via MySpace exchanges. They don't even go to the same high school, which is better for all parties concerned because The Boy has only a passing interest in his studies as it is and doesn't need any further distractions.

The hilarity comes when he's preparing for one of their rare face-to-face encounters. Most of the time he's a cocky kid with gorgeous green eyes who knows he's a looker. He's not ashamed to strut around in full flex mode kissing his "guns" after a strenuous workout and letting loose with a testosterone-charged roar. But throw a girl into the mix and he dissolves into a meek, mumbling mouse with sweaty paws.

Before each date, he insists we script and rehearse his opening moves. What should he say? Should he kiss her on the cheek when they meet? On the lips? Hold her hand?

In his desperation, he's even taken to looking up pickup lines on the Internet to use as conversation starters.

"Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?"

"Are you a magnet? Cuz I'm attracted to you."

"You must be a parking ticket cuz you got 'fine' written all over you."

Smooth, son, real smooth.

And the pre-date primping! I was certain his older sister had set the mark in that department until I witnessed his grooming and wardrobe rituals, which culminate in the application of a suffocating cloud of Axe body spray — the Hai Karate of his generation.

I feel privileged that he still wants to share his feelings and vulnerabilities with his mother, and I'm happy to offer whatever guidance I can, hard as it is sometimes to keep a straight face.

Parents have to walk a tightrope when it comes to their teen's love life. Considering all the potential drama and damage that can ensue from these passionate and volatile relationships, you'd really rather they not get involved. But when it does happen, you want to be supportive — not to the point where you're pushing them prematurely toward intimacy but where you can stay close enough to maintain a watchful eye.

The best way to do this is to co-opt your teen's love interest with family activities such as barbecues, beach outings, hikes and game nights at home. Right now we can keep The Boy on a short leash because he doesn't have a driver's license. Once he reaches that milestone, I don't know what we're going to do.

In the meantime, Valentine's Day is coming and he's in a tizzy. This is gonna be good.

Reach Christie Wilson at cwilson@honoluluadvertiser.com.