"Excuse me, Senator, but is that a noodle tray hiding under your Reyn Spooner?"

Do you think they'll really be able to refrain? After all these years of hard partying on opening day, can the Legislature really play it straight? Can lobbyists and community activists be counted on to abstain from lavishing lawmakers with food, drink, lei and presents? That's like telling the senior class they can't throw their mortar boards.

The letter signed by Senate President Colleen Hanabusa and House Speaker Calvin Say was very straightforward:

"This year, with so much at stake and with so much work needing to be done, the House and Senate have decided to refrain from its customary activities and ceremony in order to get straight down to business from the very start."

They're right on the mark. It would come off so horribly in the public's eye for them to wallow in the decadence of opening day revelry when folks are losing their jobs, departments are slashing programs and people are hurting and scared.

It's hard to overstate how lavish and excessive these events have been through the years. There were entire two-sided buffet lines set up in lawmakers' offices. Some of Hawai'i's most popular musicians entertained in the chambers like it was a Hot Hawaiian Nights concert. There were more flower lei than the island of O'ahu could supply alone. We're talking deep-mountain, secret-location, Neighbor Island maile.

But Say and Hanabusa couldn't be more clear:

"There will be no entertainment, no flowers, no festivities or subsequent receptions, as has been the tradition in years past. Speeches will be abbreviated, and instead of being platforms for caucus agendas, will be focused on the joint effort required of us all, working together."

Even without the recession, the party was escalating out of control. It was like one of those all-night, all-out Project Grad parties, except with booze. And it had the stink of insincerity as the event became dominated by insiders and lobbyists. After the economy improves, the grandiose opening-day parties should stay banned.

The legislators have the motivation to obey. They don't want to appear insensitive to the struggles of Hawai'i's people, especially in an election year. Moreover, not one of them wants to cross Colleen Hanabusa. But the veteran lobbyists and activists aren't the type to be dissuaded from reaching out to their target politicians with a little special something. Ever put "No presents, please" on an invitation to a party in Hawai'i? It doesn't work. They'll probably be sneaking the katsu trays and envelopes under the door.