Salonpas is advertising "a new era of pain relief patches."

Cool, but the "old era" of pain relief patches was pretty good.

Salonpas, the pungent white rectangular stick-ons from Japan, has been a secret weapon of Hawai'i grandpas since the 1930s. Without it, the Democratic takeover of the state wouldn't have happened; makule softball leagues wouldn't exist; Waiehu golf course would be empty.

The company that makes Salonpas, Hisamitsu, introduced the muscle-ache patch in the United States in 1987, but it has been in Hawai'i medicine cabinets for decades before that, purchased from the crowded aisles at Ooka's or Big Save or Longs.

Salonpas had such a distinctive smell, even the name still evokes olfactory memories. There was something almost magical about those sticky patches. If grandpa caught you wincing after playing too hard or carrying a big bookbag home, he might call you over with a, "Here. This going make 'em feel better," and the spell was cast.

But there was also an element of embarrassment in having your friends catch you taped up with Salonpas. It had such a strong grandpa association. It was quaint, homespun, old-fashioned. (There was a magic moment in high school when one of the cute varsity boys walked into class with a tell-tale rectangular bald spot on his otherwise hairy leg and we all secretly thought, "Oh nah! He uses Salonpas too!")

But now Salonpas has gone modern. The smell has been toned down. The adhesive isn't nearly as sticky; the old style could hang on to your neck for a week through showers and sweat. And it is now FDA-approved, the only topical pain relief patch that is.

The new marketing material reads:

"Katakori is a Japanese word used to describe physical symptoms like the stiffness in your neck and shoulders that reflect the amount of effort you put into a demanding, stressful day at work. Salonpas offers soothing relief from the pain and strain of katakori, allowing you to enjoy a healthier, more physically active lifestyle."

And that was just it. Salonpas wasn't for folks who gave up already. Salonpas was for patching up the pain and getting back out there to the garden or the golf course or another spin around Ooka's with the shopping cart. Salonpas, the smell of old folks in action.