Sometimes I fantasize about being Judge Judy and sitting on a televised bench, prim in my black robe and white lace collar. That job is easy. She only deals with incidents of human stupidity, gullibility and misplaced love. Some people will learn from her rulings and some won't. Those who learn still have time in their lives to change direction, make better choices.

I would hate to be the final judge of whole lifetimes — a huge burden. That must be why we are admonished to "judge not, lest ye be judged."

When Michael Jackson was brought up on child molestation charges some years ago, I tried to keep an open mind. Though Michael's genius was rooted in an abused psyche, I did not want to believe he could inflict his pain on another suffering child.

I once heard Michael say his father had beaten him many times when he was growing up and that, going into work in the recording studio, he would look with envy at kids playing across the street and wished he could have been with them.

So great was his father's drive to get the family out of Gary, Ind., that he willingly sacrificed their youth and innocence to bring to the world The Jackson Five.

Jackson senior succeeded. The family got out of Gary, The Jackson Five became a huge success, made piles of money and Indiana faded quickly in the rear-view mirror.

Sisters Janet and LaToya made their mark, too, but little brother Michael became an American icon. He paid a huge price and a large part of him would be forever a child.

The Bible says that "the best part of you is the part that remains a child." I would agree with that, but it's best if it's a small part of a human soul and all the rest becomes an adult.

Michael had said nothing wrong or immoral transpired in his bed with children. I wasn't there, so I accept his word. I take it on faith.

He was a child who never achieved full adulthood. If you've ever watched children in pain, struggling to understand an upside-down world, you'll know that they tend to comfort each other. Who else could be on their level and relate to the hurt in the unarmored heart?

What about the charge that Michael made huge settlements to accusers? Is that not a sign of guilt? I've been in painful situations when all I wanted to do was make it go away but I did not have a choice; I had to go directly through it. This is what contributes to growth: dealing with difficulty head-on.

Michael could spend his wealth any way he wanted to and it was his choice to make settlements. He also bought lots of fun stuff, and I somewhat disagree with that.

With his millions, Michael could have established social service centers, hired qualified professionals and given abused children shelters and treatment. But he didn't, and in offering comfort to children, he was seeking comfort for himself.

That was, again, his choice. And it is my choice not to be a judge but to place my faith for justice with someone who can see all sides of the situation. As I grow older, my faith in that someone gets stronger; my belief deepens that I don't have to make huge judgments.