Posted on: Saturday, September 20, 2008
Tough talk, tigers, silly shark alerts Obama sets mark for fundraising
By David Shapiro
flASHback — Happy Primary Election Day. Put down your beach bag for a half-hour and go vote. But first, let's "flASHback" on the week's news that amused and confused:
Barack Obama set a fundraising record of $66 million for one month — $9 million in a single day. And he accuses the oil cartel of sucking money out of the economy.
Obama disputed critics who say he's not tough enough by asserting, "I'm from Chicago." So who was that kid missing jump shots at Punahou?
VP nominee Sarah Palin enrolled at UH-Hilo after high school in Alaska, but left after a few weeks because she couldn't take the constant rain. I hate to see what'll happen when she dives into foreign policy.
President Bush says Americans shouldn't lose hope in the economy. Knowing that he'll be out of the White House in four months is hope enough.
State legislators say there's no money for public worker pay raises with a $900 million budget deficit looming. I'm betting the 54 percent raises lawmakers are scheduled to get over the next five years will escape the chopping block.
Former UH volleyball star Kim Willoughby faces felony assault charges for allegedly attacking a woman outside of the Pipeline Cafe. Well, she did make her reputation as an outside hitter.
Three baby tiger cubs were born at Honolulu Zoo. Maybe all the roaring at night when Mama Chrissie has to get up to feed them will chase the illegal campers out of Kapi'olani Park.
Hawai'i Supreme Court justices ruled it was OK for a Big Island man to kick and slap his girlfriend's teenage son for grating taco cheese incorrectly. Doesn't that make you just want to smack them?
"Lost" star Daniel Dae Kim will have to do community service for his DUI conviction. They should paint him silver and let him show the Waikiki street performers how a real actor does it.
The Big Island County Council may ban genetically modified taro and coffee. Better safe than sorry. They can't risk stray pollen tainting the pakalolo crop.
A man was arrested for allegedly stealing 35 boxes of lipstick from a Waikiki store. Either he's a pig farmer or Michael Jackson is in town.
And the quote of the week ... from state land director Laura H. Thielen about recent shark sightings: "Do not enter the water where shark warning signs are posted."
Like people not smart enough to figure that out for themselves can read signs.
Reach David Shapiro at dave@volcanicash.net.
