Maybe it's because I haven't spent my whole life here, but to me, tiki kitsch never gets old. I like the whole 1940s hula girl poster thing. Never mind that it's inaccurate at best and downright offensive at worst. But my inner culture justice soldier is conspicuously silent when it comes to matters of tiki bars. I'm instantly charmed by their gaudiness, immediately taken in by their plastic-flower aura.

Perhaps it's my love of pop culture that allows me to dismiss my fondness for such places as nostalgia for a bygone era when singers were smooth like Elvis and cute like the Andrews Sisters, and when aloha was just a utopian catch phrase.

La Mariana is on my list of top five favorite bars, and every time I drive by Da Big Kahuna with its throne-inspired wicker chairs and its frosty pink cocktails, I resist the urge to duck inside and let the kitsch settle in around me.

That's why I was game to spend an evening at Hukilau.

Though it's on the subdued side of kitschy, the Downtown restaurant and bar is just exploitation-era-Hawai'i enough to make me want to go back. And I will.

HUKILAU HONOLULU

Where: 1088 Bishop St., in the basement of the Executive Center, 523-3460.

Hours: This place keeps Downtown hours, so there's no partying here on the weekends or late at night. It's open from 6:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. Mondays through Fridays, and from 6 to 9 p.m. Saturdays. Happy hour is every weekday from 4 to 6 p.m.

Parking? After 6 p.m. there might be street parking, but don't count on it. The good news is that Hukilau is within walking distance of all Downtown municipal lots. There's also a parking lot in the building, but it'll break you.

Location, location, location: So it's kind of weird that it's in the basement of a sort of hotel, but you get over that as soon as you walk through the faux tribal hut door. Oooh ... doesn't that sound like fun?!

Good sport: Hukilau is a sports bar first. There's always some kind of competition on the televisions — and there's always a captive audience.

ESPN radio broadcasts live from the bar, too.

No shame! Get a lava flow: If it's a girly cocktail you want, this is Downtown's only place to get one. And don't be shy about it, guy in the suit. No one here will hold it against you. They don't even flinch when you order three lava flows at once. I've done it.

Friday night sights: There's live Hawaiian music every Friday night, courtesy of a rotating roster of acts, and Hukilau is now an active participant in Downtown's monthly First Friday event. Tonight's featured group is the Manao Trio.

Hello, neighbor: The Hukilau crowd is, without a doubt, the best thing about the place. You know the kind of people who are friendly but not clingy? The kind who make friendly — and brief — conversation but aren't really interested in telling you their life story? They hang out here. They make sure you feel welcome and then they leave you the heck alone.

On a recent Friday evening, the host of a large birthday party made sure everyone in the bar got a slice of the birthday cake. Island-style hospitality at its best.

Food first: Hukilau is more of a restaurant than a bar, but it's plenty bar enough to do the trick. There's a full menu, but the staff doesn't hold it against you if you want to sit at a table and just order a beer and the truffled fries. And you SHOULD order the truffled fries.

Let me hear you scream: Silence isn't sacred here. It can get loud, but all that means is that no one flinched when the girl at the bar screamed at Michael Phelps to "touch the wall already!" Just imagine the screams that erupt when it's football season.