NEW YORK — She's allergic to parsley, bad manners, boisterous gum-chomping and unsightly lipstick residue on sparkling glassware.

"Don't you hate when you see lip gloss on a glass? It just looks awful," says Sarah Jessica Parker, a sigh interrupting a discussion of Manhattan to wipe her tarnish off her water glass. "It's my own. It's gross. Sorry about that."

Sometimes in life, appearances matter. Just ask Carrie Bradshaw, Parker's elaborately attired "Sex and the City" alter ego, who returns today in "Sex and the City." The film arrives four years after Carrie and her pals Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), Charlotte (Kristin Davis) and Samantha (Kim Cattrall) put away their 4-inch heels when their HBO series wrapped, to live on only in sanitized reruns on TBS and on DVD.

"I hope people show up, and I really hope they like what we've done," Parker says. "I wanted Carrie to be grown up. What was most exciting when I read the screenplay was that not only was she grown up, but the themes were about grown-up things: forgiveness, what it means to be complicit in your own disappointments and how those disappointments are so vastly different at 40 than they are at 20. It was the role of a lifetime, I think."

But Bradshaw is only a small part of Parker, 43. Unlike the perennially gussied-up Carrie, Parker spends most of her off-time in Ugg boots and jeans, taking her son, James Wilkie, 5, to school and hanging out in her downtown neighborhood with her husband, Matthew Broderick.

And then there's her professional reality. As the executive producer of the series and the film, Parker is mostly responsible for getting the foursome back after the first attempt at making a "Sex" movie came to nothing in 2004 amid rumors of script and salary skirmishes.

Cattrall says today that none of the cast had firm deals in place and that she, who took the brunt of the blame in the entertainment media, wouldn't sign on because "I needed to take a time-out. I was going through a tough divorce. It was very public. And then my dad was diagnosed with dementia. I needed to get away."

In April 2006, Parker, on a whim, called her agent to talk about reviving the idea of a big-screen outing for Carrie and her three Manhattan girlfriends, all of them in various states of relationship bliss.

"I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't made that call," Parker says. "I cannot tell you how many times we have resuscitated it. Every time it seemed impossible, every home that was taken from us, every leader that left — I just knew this was the time. We couldn't wait."

Says Davis: "Sarah Jessica called and said, 'I've been thinking.' I was afraid to get too excited. I was quietly hopeful. Now it feels like the excitement is building, and you just hope that we can live up to it."

For Cattrall, the timing finally fit like, well, one of Samantha's immaculately cut suits.

"I felt strong again. There was never a script before; they were going to put money into it," Cattrall says.

The film picks up three years after the series ended. After romantic ups and downs, Carrie is in a relationship with John, aka Mr. Big (Chris Noth), and they're hunting for the perfect piece of Manhattan real estate. Acerbic lawyer Miranda is living in Brooklyn with her husband, Steve, and their son, Brady, trying to juggle work and a sex life.

Charlotte and her husband, Harry, have adopted a Chinese girl, Lily, and Samantha has moved to Los Angeles with her younger actor boyfriend, Smith (Jason Lewis), whose career she's managing while ogling her hot next-door neighbor.

But the anchor of the movie is, without question, relationship columnist Carrie. And no one is happier to have her back than "Sex" writer/director Michael Patrick King, a close friend of Parker's.

"What she brings this time is an ease. Carrie is happy at the top of the movie and fulfilled in her career," King says. "In her love life, she's fulfilled. Big sees her. When you're reflected back by someone that loves you, it changes the way you are. Sarah Jessica starts in this classic, elegant light. She starts light so she can go dark. She brings the reality of the past to this part. She's just living and being."

On set, King denies any talk of friction between the women. "I have dailies that I hid and stole, which is the four of them singing Christmas carols on the set the night before we broke for Christmas. My reality is nothing about them not getting along. They're a phenomenal ensemble."

Accented this time by Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson, who plays Carrie's assistant Louise. Hudson calls Parker "really laid-back. She's always walking around singing."

Happy notes notwithstanding, the movie's tone diverges from the frequent frothiness of the series. Sure, the clothes are fab and the shoes are high. But the movie's feel is far grittier. The heartbreak feels more real, largely because the women are older and there's more at stake. The characters, now in their 40s and in Samantha's case, 50, deal with the very real issues of aging.

In person, Parker is every bit as teeny as you'd imagine, with a broad smile, impeccable manners, a deadpan sense of humor and an affinity for physical contact. She hugs people hello and goodbye.

She doesn't see much of herself in Bradshaw, an often maddeningly fickle romantic. In fact, avoiding a traditional wedding gown might be their only thing in common: Parker's was black when she married Broderick in 1997.

As for Bradshaw, "I don't think we're very much alike, even still, even now that she's embraced more being a grown-up. Our lives are just so different," Parker says. "She and I have just made such different choices. It doesn't really reflect my life except that we're both grown up, we live in Manhattan and we have the same skeleton and we look alike. That's it."

THE OTHER GIRLFRIENDS ARE

Kim Cattrall, 51

• She plays: Sex-kitten-turned-cougar Samantha, who overcomes breast cancer and settles into a seemingly contented relationship in Los Angeles.

• In real life: She's dating a younger man, chef Alan Wyse.

• Samantha loves her Botox: "If it works, use it. I know some people who don't, I know some people who overdip, and I know some people who take care of themselves."

Kristin Davis, 43

• She plays: Eternal optimist Charlotte, who dreams of hearth and home and ultimately finds it. "It took a while, and she really did struggle, and that's what I love."

• In real life: Davis, who's single, is no wide-eyed Charlotte. "Through everything that happened to her, Charlotte still stayed hopeful. She might get down, but she'll come back and be tenaciously hopeful. I'm not quite as much that way. Definitely a little bit more cynical, which is probably a good thing."

• There's one bummer: "We get to keep all the clothes, but all of my clothes were samples. That's OK; they were great," she says.

"I got all the shoes. At the end, I got a Chanel bag. It's huge and white."

Cynthia Nixon, 42

• She plays: Miranda, the red-headed, sharp-tongued lawyer trying to make a go of marriage and motherhood.

• In real life: Tony winner Nixon lives in upper Manhattan with her girlfriend, Christine Marinoni, and children, Samantha, 11, and Charlie, 5, from a previous relationship.

• Being back feels so good: "We really couldn't believe we'd get the chance to do this again in an even bigger way. We just kept putting one foot in front of the other and hoping it would work. And it did."