Posted on: Saturday, May 24, 2008
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VOLCANIC ASH
Elections, insults and long-term studies ...
By
David Shapiro
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Hawai'i election officers couldn't figure how to count votes and the GOP used cue cards so they wouldn't have to. Let's plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" to our weekly review of the news that amused and confused:
The state has no voting machines for fall elections as a result of a dispute with vendors. Plan B is to have "Survivor" host Jeff Probst organize tribal councils in all precincts.
Sen. Sam Slom rejected Gov. Linda Lingle's demand to apologize for calling state agency employees "morons." To borrow from Martin Mull, they make you wonder if politics makes morons out of people or attracts people who are morons to begin with.
Republican leaders used scripts and cue cards to tell state convention delegates how to vote on the party platform. If sheep could vote in regular elections, the GOP might win a few seats in the Legislature.
Lingle said the party's presidential nominee John McCain faces a tough campaign "because we have a candidate that actually speaks the truth." Hmm, the governor had an easy campaign herself in 2006. She should brief McCain on whatever it was that she spoke.
Hawai'i didn't have the nation's highest gasoline prices for a change, with eight states topping us.
Lucky the Legislature wasn't in session to fix the anomaly by raising our fuel taxes.
Lt. Gov. James "Duke" Aiona signed a bill making taro Hawai'i's state plant, correcting a legislative error that delayed the designation until 2025. Activists worried the kalo would be genetically engineered into rutabaga by then.
The city has hired more than 40 former Aloha Airlines employees. Good planning. If the council chooses magnetic levitation for the transit system, they'll need people to fly the trains.
A taxi driver was convicted of attempted murder for running over a customer who wouldn't tip him $2. Thank goodness bus drivers don't expect gratuities.
Four Hawaiian royal societies said the occupation of 'Iolani Palace grounds led by self-styled queen Mahealani Kahau isn't pono. Sounds like a polite way of calling her a royal pain.
And finally, did you know that Joe Moore re-upped for 10 more years as news anchor at KHON-2? It's good to see an old warrior still chasing rainbows.
The quote of the week ... from Big Island Mayor Harry Kim on the health effects of vog: "Nobody knows the long-term effects of many, many things because it takes long-term studies to know the long-term effects of it."
Spoken like a true shorttermer.
David Shapiro can be reached by e-mail at dave@volcanicash.net. His columns are archived at www.volcanicash.net. Read his daily blog at www.volcanicash.honadv blogs.com.
David Shapiro, a veteran Hawai'i journalist, can be reached by e-mail at dave@volcanicash.net. His columns are archived at www.volcanicash.net. Read his daily blog at blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com.
