Not to contradict Sen. Barack Obama, but this is the audacity of hope.

ANAHEIM

UCLA over Mississippi Valley State: John Wooden says he won't see a bigger mismatch if he lives to be 100.

Brigham Young over Texas A&M: Cougars don't play on Sunday. Aggies didn't play on several Wednesdays and Saturdays.

Marquette over Kentucky: By the way, Gardner-Webb wound up 200th in the RPI.

Stanford over Cornell: Ryan Wittman, son of Timberwolves' coach Randy, is Cornell's leader.

UCLA over Brigham Young: Ben Howland demands John Wayne Airport divert all flights during his news conference.

Stanford over Marquette: No seashells and balloons, as Al McGuire said in happier times.

DENVER

Notre Dame over George Mason: Who's this year's George Mason? Not these guys.

Washington State over Winthrop: Cougars relieved to escape Pac-10.

Michigan State over Temple: Tom Izzo's game plan: Cancel (Dionte) Christmas.

Pittsburgh over Oral Roberts: Steelers hire team physician, knock Panthers off front page.

Washington State over Notre Dame: Makes up for last year's 2nd-round loss to Vanderbilt.

Pittsburgh over Michigan State: First one to 40 wins.

OMAHA

Wisconsin over Cal State Fullerton: Titans can't get their metal bats through security.

USC over Kansas State: Michael Beasley is merely Player of the Year, not Batman.

Kent State over UNLV: Kent coach Jim Christian should get a job out of this.

Kansas over Portland State: Same goes for Vikings coach Ken (Bad To The) Bone.

Wisconsin over USC: Why can't everything run as smoothly as Wisconsin? Twelve turnovers, 14.4 fouls per game. Only five Badgers fouled out all season.

Kansas over Kent State: Jayhawks had 25 assists on 26 field goals in Big 12 championship.

LITTLE ROCK

Texas over Austin Peay: Fly Williams has no more eligibility.

St. Mary's over Miami: Fear the WCC.

Memphis over Texas-Arlington: There's a ping-pong ball in May with Derrick Rose's name on it.

Mississippi State over Oregon: Get the riff-raff out of here.

Texas over St. Mary's: D.J. Augustin looks Chris Paul-ish at times.

Mississippi State over Memphis: Tigers victimized by their attack-attack-kick-attack-get-fouled-brick offensive system.

TAMPA

Connecticut over San Diego: Not until the 40th minute.

Drake over Western Kentucky: Concerned with gambling, NCAA requests that Drake coach Keno Davis change his name.

Clemson over Villanova: Another Bubble Buddy gets popped.

Siena over Vanderbilt: Although Shan Foster of Vandy could be America's most underrated player.

Connecticut over Drake: Huskies play defense like they're scared of their coach. Which they are.

Clemson over Siena: As Mike Krzyzewski said, Tigers can play with anybody when they hit foul shots.

BIRMINGHAM

Tennessee over American: Thank goodness Bruce Pearl and Pat Summitt quit posing at each other's games. People were talking.

Butler over South Alabama: The decline of American civilization will be traced to the first day that grown men sat in a studio and argued over whether South Alabama should make the field instead of Arizona State.

Louisville over Boise State: Confused, Bobby Petrino shows up on Louisville bench.

St. Joseph's over Oklahoma: Sooner alum (and WNBA player) Stacey Dales isn't eligible.

Tennessee over Butler: Tempting, but Vols are too physical.

Louisville over St. Joseph's: Why don't the studios hire Hawks' coach Phil Martelli after he loses? Too unpredictable?

RALEIGH

Georgetown over Maryland-Baltimore County: UMBC is more famous for its national champion chess program. Really.

Davidson over Gonzaga: Stephen Curry will be top player on the floor.

North Carolina over Coppin State or Mount St. Mary's: Also would be favored over Coppin State andMount St. Mary's.

Indiana over Arkansas: Hoosiers miss Kelvin Sampson. He was a Cingular coach.

Georgetown over Davidson: Battle of the preppy alumni.

North Carolina over Indiana: Dan Dakich ready to go in, but Michael Jordan is sitting in a Charlotte luxury box.

WASHINGTON

Duke over Belmont: Joe Belmont was a Duke great of the early `50s and a teammate of Lefty Driesell.

West Virginia over Arizona: A merciful end.

Purdue over Baylor: Bears could use The Waco Kid.

Xavier over Georgia: Worst decision was to make Georgia play on Thursday after last weekend's ordeal.

West Virginia over Duke: Young Devils run into the wall and Joe Alexander simultaneously.

Xavier over Purdue: No soft, creamy filling to these Musketeers.

PHOENIX

UCLA over Connecticut: Against Kevin Love, Hasheem Thabeet's name translates to "foul trouble."

Xavier over West Virginia: Muskies give Bob Huggins some Skyline chili as a consolation.

UCLA over Xavier: While at UCLA, Howland has not lost a tournament game to any team in this field.

HOUSTON

Mississippi State over Pittsburgh: Something always happens to Pitt in this round. This time its name is Jamont Gordon.

Texas over Stanford: Would be a good swim meet, too.

Texas over Mississippi State: Before you ask, Kevin Durant has no second thoughts.

CHARLOTTE

North Carolina over Washington State: Cougars slow down Tar Heels. That's no longer enough.

Tennessee over Louisville: Hard to believe in Edgar Sosa against Tennessee's pressure.

North Carolina over Tennessee: Easier to believe in Ty Lawson.

DETROIT

Kansas over Clemson: Rasheed Wallace becomes first spectator to get T'd up at a regional, just to stay sharp.

Wisconsin over Georgetown: Hoya grad Bill Clinton attends the game, at the insistence of Hillary's campaign.

Kansas over Wisconsin: Those who saw the Big 12 final saw two Final Four teams.

SEMIFINALS

North Carolina over Kansas: Gee, what's the storyline here?

UCLA over Texas: This time Love isn't stuck on the bench at the end.

AND THE WINNER IS . . .

UCLA 66, North Carolina 58: Yeah, it's finally over, on April 7. Has college basketball considered a bowl system?