The families of a 19-year-old man stabbed to death and the man accused of the murder held hands yesterday outside a Honolulu courtroom and spoke of their mutual sorrow and the need to forgive.

"They lost a son," said Glenn Keohokapu Sr. His son, Glenn J.K. Keohokapu Jr., was indicted yesterday on a charge of second-degree murder in the death of Steven Wilcox early Sunday in the parking lot of a Kane'ohe bar.

And yet, said Keohokapu Sr., "they love us. I cannot imagine the love." He added, "I never asked the mom for forgiveness, but she gave it to me and my family unconditionally."

Wilcox's stepmother, Gwen Kai'lihiwa, said the family has no other choice but to forgive, because "I want to see my son again and in order to see him again, you need forgiveness in your heart."

Keohokapu appeared in court yesterday but did not speak. Relatives of both the defendant and the victim attended the hearing.

District Judge Russel Nagata ordered Keohokapu held on the murder charge and set bail at $300,000.

Gwen Kai'lihiwa and her husband, Charles, joined in a prayer circle outside court with members of Keohokapu's family, including his father.

Prosecutors said they may seek a sentence of life in prison without parole for Keohokapu, 35, because he is a "persistent" criminal offender.

The second-degree murder charge carries a maximum sentence of life in prison with the possibility of parole, but prosecutors may ask for an extended sentence of life without parole in this case.

Criminal statutes allow prosecutors to seek extended prison terms when "it is necessary for the protection of the public."

Keohokapu has been convicted of six felony offenses, most recently possession of drugs and drug paraphernalia.

In March, his wife, Kauilani "Kaui" Keohokapu, obtained a restraining order against him after telling the court she feared for her life because of his violent behavior while on drugs.

The restraining order was to expire on Monday, the day after the stabbing.

One witness to the incident told police that Wilcox tried to intervene after Keohokapu struck his wife in the face.

Wilcox was stabbed in the chest outside Club Komomai on Kamehameha Highway in Kane'ohe.

Kaui Keohokapu, 30, called The Advertiser on Wednesday to say she wanted to say that her husband did not strike her.

"My husband did not touch me that night," she said. "I was not punched. I was not even touched. I don't even have markings on my body."

She said the problem started in the bar when a man was staring at her and her husband became upset.

Kaui Keohokapu said her husband left the bar and she walked after him to calm him down.

"Me being a wife, I followed my husband to actually calm him down because he was upset," said Kaui Keohokapu, a medical assistant living in Kahalu'u. "There was no punching, no hitting of me whatsoever."

She would not comment further on the altercation that resulted in Wilcox's stabbing.

According to police reports, the underage Wilcox was in the bar that night with relatives but it was not clear yesterday if he had been drinking.