Posted on: Saturday, July 19, 2008
Blather, bloopers and a big, dead whale
flASHback — Campaign-trail pontifications on economics and language arts lead off as we place tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the weekly news that amused and confused.
John McCain's adviser dismissed the bad economy as a "mental recession." They're riffing on Bill Clinton's old mantra, "It's the economy, stupid." We'll see how far McCain gets with, "It's the stupid economy."
Barack Obama said he regrets never learning a second language. I guess he doesn't count Punahou pidgin. ("There's a pooker in my Calvins.")
The state mistakenly released the names of medical marijuana users, their addresses and the location of their plants. What, no Google maps for pakalolo thieves?
Air traffic controllers at Hawai'i airports scrambled when their radar screens went dark for nine minutes. The mongoose who pedals the power supply must have had to go potty.
Local stores illegally selling tobacco to minors increased for the fourth straight year. The illegal liquor the kids are sold just isn't the same without a cigarette.
The citizens' initiative to stop rail transit won't go before voters in November because the city clerk says the wording is flawed. Is it too late to put in a fix or is the fix already in?
Gov. Linda Lingle signed the anti-rail petition after saying she's not for or against rail, but pro-people. I guess that answers the question of what she's running for next: Miss Congeniality.
Mayor Mufi Hannemann won't rule out ditching Honolulu Hale to run for higher office, saying, "In government and politics, never say never." Funny, politicians caught with their hands in the cookie jar are always saying, "I never ..."
"Bodies ... The Exhibition" put corpses on display at Ala Moana Center, but I'm not paying $26 and fighting the crowds. With the election coming up, highways will be full of cadaverous posers waving their signs.
Authorities had to revert to a Plan B to remove the rotting carcass of a 10-ton sperm whale from the Kahuku shoreline. Plan A was to ignore the smell and pray he'd eventually go to heaven.
And the quote of the week ... from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on George W. Bush:
"You know, God bless him, bless his heart, president of the United States, a total failure, losing all credibility with the American people on the economy, on the war, on energy, you name the subject." This is going to be history's longest retirement roast.
Reach David Shapiro at dave@volcanicash.net. His columns are archived at www.volcanicash.net. Read his daily blog at http://volcanicash.honadvblogs.com.
