The Mililani Mauka man who apparently killed his wife and son before hanging himself this week wrote to his church asking that a priest officiate at his funeral.

The Rev. Dong Min "Paul" Li, the parochial vicar at St. John Apostle and Evangelist Church in Mililani, said an envelope arrived at the church on Wednesday morning marked "very important." Inside, the priest said, were the birth certificates and sacrament records for Michael James, his wife, Grineline, and his son, Michael Jr.

Li said the letter was chilling because he had known James as a parishioner, remembering in particular his smile, and he realized that it had been written by James knowing that he would die.

The church called police but authorities had already discovered the deaths at the Mo'ohele Street home through a separate note James had left in the mailbox that was found by a postal carrier.

Over the past few days, Li said he has been telling other parishioners to pray for the souls of the dead family and to take steps to make sure something like this tragedy never happens again. "If anything that happens in the family, do not hesitate to call" the church, he said today.

The letter to Li and the note in the mailbox indicate planning by James. Li said he also got a telephone call Wednesday from what he believes was a female relative of James on the Mainland who had received a letter from James and feared something bad had happened.

Police suspect James killed his wife and his son sometime before hanging himself. According to the city Office of the Medical Examiner, Grineline James was strangled and Michael Jr. was drowned and had blunt force injuries to the head.

James, an insurance broker, and his wife, Grineline, who taught English as a second language at Farrington High School, were described by friends as a nice and friendly couple active in their son's education.

James worked from home and had registered two businesses with the state Department of Commerce and Consumer Affairs in April 2005 — Benchmark Marketing Group and Benchmark Life Insurance & Annuity Consulting Group.

Hickam Federal Credit Union filed a lawsuit against James on June 20 seeking $10,870, according to court records, indicating that James was having financial difficulties.