A Mililani Mauka family found dead in their home was planning to attend a Mainland funeral this week. The mother of the family had told several people that the funeral was for her husband's brother, but the husband had separately said that his best friend had killed himself.

Police found the bodies yesterday of Michael James, 43, Grineline "Elaine" James, 39, and Michael James II, 7, in their home. Michael James had apparently killed his wife and son, then killed himself.

Officials at Farrington High School, where Grineline James taught, and at St. John the Baptist Catholic School, which her son attended, said she told them Friday the family would be on the Mainland this week to attend the funeral of her husband's brother.

But Michael James talked last week about a "close friend" who had killed himself and that the family had to go to Alabama this week for the funeral, said Kendra Roser. Roser talked often to James, sometimes for hours at a time, because he stopped almost every day at the Higher Grounds coffee shop in Wahiawa where she works.

"He was one of my favorite customers," Roser said. "He was a sweet, sweet, sweet guy so when I heard about the murder/suicide I was shocked.

"He came in on Friday and said a good friend had killed himself and left a lot of people behind. He said he could never do something so selfish. I just can't believe it. When I look back, we talked an awful lot about death last week."

Grineline James' co-workers and friends at both schools painted similar pictures of the family, with many saying the couple appeared to have the perfect marriage. They were never seen fighting and Michael James was a doting husband who would do anything for his wife.

"Grineline would forget stuff at home like her keys to the classroom or lunch and Michael would drive in from Mililani to Farrrington just to bring her whatever she needed," said Maria Guardino, who worked in the English Language Learners Department with James the past four years.

"When Grineline and I became tenured, Michael bought the most beautiful cake to congratulate us. This just doesn't make sense."

Police said evidence indicates Grineline James was killed over the weekend and the child a few days later. Police suspect Michael James hanged himself. Police were dispatched to the James residence at 95-1042 Mo'ohele Street about noon after receiving a 911 call, reportedly from a female postal carrier who found a note from Michael James in the mailbox.

Friends said Michael James had served in the U.S. Army. He met and married Grineline in the Philippines before they moved to Hawai'i in 2001. He was an insurance broker who worked out of his home.

Grineline was set to become the head of Farrington's English as a second language department this fall. She was also the secretary for the parent-teacher association at her son's school and worked on the school's newsletter and yearbook.

"She was very dedicated and would do anything for anybody," said Arlene Domondon, vice principal at St. John. "Always involved with everything.

"The whole family was very nice. We had a family picnic for all of the students and we had a game for the parents called 'musical papers.' The trick was the parents had to keep in constant contact with each other and stay on the paper. Each time the music stopped the paper would be folded over smaller and smaller. I remember Michael just swept her off her feet and carried her. He was the only one. She was very small. He was big.

"Hearing what happened ... we never saw either of them do anything but smile and be happy and helpful."

Domondon, her mother Estrella Domondon, who taught Michael James II in the second grade last year, and Michael's summer school teacher, Francine Fontanilla, said some students have asked about seeing their classmate's picture on the news, but they don't quite comprehend what's happened yet.

"It's difficult," Fontanilla said. "Michael would have been 8 on July 10. He loved arts and crafts. He talked about Legos and dinosaurs, and in class he had a bunch of projects done for an art show the class is going to be putting on."

Estrella Domondon said Michael had made big jumps in his school work as a second grader, earning subject awards for math, spelling, science and social studies at the end of the year.

Joceyln Banas stopped by the school this morning to gather more information about Grineline. As she choked back tears, she said her son Alex had grown up with Michael, attending pre-kindergarten classes with him through the second grade.

"Even at a young age you can see cliques develop," Banas said. "They were close. He knows the language of what happened, but he's not understanding that he won't be there in third grade with him next year."