Last night I enjoyed a wonderful dining experience at one of the more popular restaurants in Hawai'i. The food was excellent and the ambience top-notch. I immediately understood why the restaurant had received so many awards.

Yet I will never dine there again.

Midway through the meal, as our entrees were served and a nice bottle of red wine was opened, the wheels completely came off. My guest tasted the wine and approved it, and we promptly toasted to a fantastic night on the town. Unfortunately, I quickly noticed the wine was contaminated by the chemical trichloroanisole (TCA), a condition often referred to as "corked."

This is by far the most important reason behind sampling a wine before you give the server the thumbs-up. The wine smells of wet newspaper, wet dog, the aroma of damp wood planks on a dock on Lake Michigan when you were a kid. Depending on who you ask, somewhere between 3 percent and 10 percent of all wines using cork have this flaw. The high frequency of corked wines has prompted many producers to switch to the screw-cap closure.

In the kindest way possible, I explained the situation to our server and asked for another bottle. To my surprise, he had never heard of corked wine and apparently assumed I was trying to impress my guest. As a result, he asked if his co-workers could try the wine to determine if I was correct.

And I was thinking how awful this experience would be if I did not have the confidence of a wine professional.

We slowed down eating our entrees in anticipation of a new bottle of wine. Ten minutes later, the server returned and explained that five employees tasted the wine and confirmed that it was fine.

And I was thinking how intimidating this would be if I was not a sommelier.

As my patience waned, I attempted to remain calm as I explained that I am quite confident of the flaw and would like him to talk to the bar manager and bring me another bottle. At this point, the enjoyable conversation at the table had stopped, and my guest and I were consumed with finding a resolution to the situation. Our food was getting cold.

Ten more minutes later, our server returned without a bottle in hand. He explained that the wine is not offered by the glass (so they cannot pawn it off on another guest) and that maybe I consider the wine off because of the temperature. He explained that the restaurant does not want to waste another bottle and I should pick another selection from the menu. Temporarily losing control, I told him that I either want his boss or a new bottle of wine at my table in five minutes or I would be leaving.

And I was thinking if this was a first date, there is no way I get a second.

Finally, after a half-hour ordeal, the server brought another bottle. It tasted spot-on, and my guest explained to me she would have never noticed the difference if it were not for this experience. Attempting to reconcile, I offered the waiter a glass of the new wine and invited him to compare the two bottles. He did not thank me, he did not return to tell me the results of the experiment, he returned only to drop off the check.

The song and dance of wine etiquette and the wine opening procedure in restaurants is for the sole purpose of guest satisfaction. The display of the label, the presentation of the cork and the one-ounce sample of wine are all ammunition for the customer to determine if the wine is sound. Truth be told, guests should not return a wine because they simply do not like the flavor. Proper reasons for returning a bottle include wrong vintage, corkiness, poor temperature and oxidation.

Nevertheless, the important thing to remember is that you are in charge. Regardless of how intimidating the restaurant looks or how evil the server has become, you are the one spending the money. Forget for a moment that you are scared as hell about wine and you have no idea what to do with the cork they just handed you. If you think the wine tastes bad, then the wine tastes bad. Demand perfection from the server, then the manager, then the owner. Any restaurant worth its mettle will happily take back a bottle of wine you dislike, and these are the restaurants we return to again and again. This is the moral of the story.

Of course, if you are popping a bottle of $3,000 1947 Château Lafite-Rothschild you might want to bring your attorney as a dining guest.

Restaurants with a particularly high standard for wine service: