What happens if they have an awards show and nobody comes?

They don't have an awards show, evidently.

The usual bacchanal surrounding announcement of the Golden Globes last night fell victim to the Writers Guild of America strike. Actors weren't willing to cross picket lines (and writers wouldn't write banal dialogue for presenters to read), so instead of the usual champagne-fueled televised dinner, organizers held a one-hour press conference announcing the winners.

Wow. Now there's a surefire ratings winner. Can't think of anything more exciting than someone ticking off the list of winners for best supporting actress in a musical or comedy or in a drama or whatever. Yawn. An especially good rerun of "The Andy Griffith Show" must be on cable somewhere.

The Golden Globes are known for two things: being a somewhat shaky Oscars predictor and the one awards show where the stars drink. The latter typically is much more entertaining than the former.

But with writers on strike, actors weren't willing to cross picket lines — certainly not on camera. That spelled doom to any kind of red-carpet coverage, and without the red carpet (and the open bar), there's really not much to the Golden Globes.

It's true that, way back when, awards shows like the Oscars weren't televised. Instead, they were clubby affairs, ceremonies where stars watched stars accept trophies and everybody else read about it in the next day's paper.

It's also true that the mail used to be carried by pack mule. Things change.

In truth, only celebrity junkies will bemoan the absence of the Golden Globes (well, celebrity junkies and NBC). Most years, by the time the Oscar nominations come out, the Globes have long been forgotten, unless Christine Lahti was in the bathroom when her win was announced or something.

Although the winners this year will be forgotten even more quickly than usual, the situation offers intrigue.

The Oscars are scheduled for Feb. 24. The Grammys are scheduled for Feb. 10.

What if they get canceled, too?

It seems unlikely, if only because it sounds so weird.

But it seems equally unlikely that stars would be willing to cross picket lines at the Academy Awards, and the issues that have kept both sides from the negotiating table haven't changed.

No Oscars? Hollywood reportedly is atwitter over the possibility.

In a culture that is increasingly celebrity-obsessed, awards shows offer the best chance to see famous people relatively unscripted. Commenting on who's wearing what designer has become a cottage industry. That's why, despite weeks of grumbling and rumor, it was still a surprise that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association pulled the plug on the Golden Globes.

But really, could Hollywood and the people so obsessed by it ever get by without an Oscars ceremony?

Stay tuned. They might have to.

Bill Goodykoontz is chief film critic for Gannett News Service. Read his blog at www.goodyblog.azcentral.com.