Posted on: Sunday, January 13, 2008
Finally, a column about my No. 1 man
By Monica Quock Chan
So far, my spouse has escaped being the main topic of this column, leaving that privilege to our toddler, who is too young to protest.
Today, however, happens to be my husband's birthday. Last month, he delivered a best-man speech that elaborated on the top 10 characteristics of the groom.
What better gift to give my limelight-avoiding partner than to share his own qualities? The Top 10, in no particular order, are as follows:
Intelligence: In college, my hubby's friends nicknamed him "the man with two brains." Others dubbed the Phi Beta Kappa recipient "Preparation H," a moniker given to those geeks ... er, intellectuals ... who attend Harvard for their entire undergraduate and post-graduate training.
Talented: Beneath my husband's unassuming exterior lies a host of surprises. The fellow's athletic form is impressive, and as a literal one-man band, he plays four instruments. Once he mentioned nonchalantly that he took an art class during medical school, as if anyone would have the time to sketch still life between memorizing anatomy and being paged for hospital emergencies.
Spiritual: With women outnumbering men in most congregations, it is unusual to be married to a guy who desires to have regular devotions and be involved with church. Seeing him pray over our keiki every evening before bedtime is touching and inspiring.
Organized: On our first date, my hubby-to-be showed up with an index card that systematically listed all of our outing options. Nowadays, when our 20-month-old daughter points out a speck of dust on the furniture, I need not wonder from which side of the family she inherited her fastidiousness.
Reliable: There is no guessing where my hubby is at any point in time; he lets us know exactly where he is and when he will return. His strong sense of kuleana means that what he says, he does.
Patient: When I learned that our labor preparation class was subtitled "Husband-Coached Childbirth," I knew my mate was up for the challenge. His ability to listen tolerantly and take others' emotions in stride brought relative calm even to the drama of childbirth.
Low-maintenance: Content to drive a nondescript car, stay in rather than venture out, and wear the same clothes, it is no wonder that the new shirts we bought him last fall are still hanging in the closet, unworn.
Unselfish: Although both Christmas and New Year's were interrupted by emergency calls from the hospital, my spouse departed uncomplainingly and tended to the patients in his usual kindly bedside manner. At home, he is likewise compassionate and understanding; during disagreements, for example, we often find ourselves switching to the other person's point of view.
Devoted: 'Ohana is paramount to my husband. Despite his hectic job, he makes it a priority to eat together once a day. When we do go out, it is almost always the three of us as a group.
Loving: My spouse demonstrates love through his actions. His willingness to play with our toddler even after a long day's work or provide kokua in whittling down our household's never-ending to-do list show how much he cares for our 'ohana.
Voila, the Top 10 for my No. 1 man.
Hau'oli la hanau!
Monica Quock Chan is a freelance writer who lives in Honolulu with her family.
Reach Monica Quock Chan at (Unknown address).
