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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, December 23, 2008

PARENTING
Blessings in bad times

By Rebecca Heslin
Gannett News Service

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

Jen Shute and her daughter, Hannah, 8, place family photos in the china cabinet in their Collingswood, N.J., home.

MATTHEW DAE SMITH | Gannett News Service

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TIPS FOR AN AFFORDABLE CELEBRATION

Susan Kane, editor in chief of Parenting magazine, offers tips to help families make the most of the holiday season:

  • Use technology. Webcams and Skype are easy, affordable ways for people to stay in touch when they can't celebrate together in person.

  • Forgo gifts and spend the money on travel expenses to visit family members.

  • Find fun activities in your hometown usually trumped by shopping trips. Try scouting the best hot chocolate joint in town and scoping out area decorations and lights.

  • Inform children of any changes in their holiday traditions in advance. For older kids, it's an opportune time to discuss the economy. For the younger bunch, you can probably get away with simple answers for why there may be fewer toys under the tree this year, for example, "Santa has put a cap on toy requests this year because of an elf shortage."

    — Gannett News Service

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    Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

    Hannah playfully tries on a Star of David while mom decorates the Christmas tree .

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    Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

    Sawyer Harris, 10, celebrates a strike on a Wii bowling game. Also shown are, from left, Michael, 8, and Matt Carl son, 11; their mom, Kathie; and Scott and Maddie Harris, 15. Scott says the holidays this year will be "more interac tive: more storytelling, more conversation, more crafts."

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    Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

    Sawyer Harris, 10, plays the piano at home in Holt, Mich. His dad, Scott Harris, says "this year ... instead of allowing the material stuff to fill the holidays, we'll spend more time simply talking."

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    HOLIDAY SPENDING TRENDS

    According to the National Retail Federation's Holiday Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, the average person is spending about $832 on the holidays, up only about 2 percent from 2007. That's the smallest increase in the survey's six-year history. More news from the survey:

  • Fewer people are buying decorations than in the past two years.

  • On average, families plan to spend just less than $100 on food and candy.

  • The percentage of people shopping online will remain consistent with last year at about 44 percent. More people are using the Internet to shop for bargains and compare prices before pulling out the plastic for a purchase.

  • About 70 percent of people plan to shop at discount stores this season such as Wal-Mart, Target and Kmart.

  • The average person will spend $466 on gifts for family, which is down about $3 from 2007.

    Source: National Retail Federation

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    For Jen Shute and her family, the focus of the upcoming holiday season is more on trimming the fat than trimming the tree.

    "The economic decline has made me take a harder look at my family and their needs," says Shute, a mother of two from southern New Jersey.

    Shute plans to hold holiday spending under $500 this year. She'll manage her budget by cutting back on new decorations and by watching what's spent on food and entertainment.

    And instead of several different gifts for each member of the family, Shute and her husband will get one big gift, a Nintendo Wii, for the whole family. "This year, my husband and I stressed to our children that being with family and enjoying each other is more important than gifts and that we should be grateful for what we have."

    With the economy in tatters and consumer confidence at all-time lows, trend-watchers say this is a year when people will spend less time pursuing material goods and more time interacting with family and friends and reflecting on spiritual beliefs — part of what's often defined as the true meaning of the holiday season.

    According to the National Retail Federation, consumers will spend little more than they did last year. The average person is spending about $832 on the holidays, only about 2 percent more than in 2007. Consumers also plan to cut back on money spent on gifts: The average person will spend $466 on gifts for family, down about $3 from 2007, the federation projects.

    "No one is canceling Christmas because money is tight, but consumers will be sticking to their budgets and looking for good deals when deciding where to spend this holiday season," NRF President and CEO Tracy Mullin says in a statement.

    Christina Hawkey, professor of family studies at Arizona Western College, says this year's economic crisis might be a blessing in disguise.

    "Families can play games, drink cocoa and make cookies at home," she says. "It will be a time to refocus and remember what the holiday season is really about."

    GETTING TOGETHER

    The secret to sticking to a budget often means prioritizing. Susan Kane, editor in chief of Parenting magazine, foresees travel to visit family and friends as being a gift itself.

    "Now more than ever people will make family a priority, so a family who all has to travel long distances to see one another for the holidays may forgo exchanging gifts, for example, to save some money. People will still want to celebrate with those they love."

    Islanders frequently face the challenge of celebrating holidays when some family members are far away on the Mainland. Correspondingly, those who live in Hawai'i treasure their connections.

    Honolulu Advertiser 'Ohana columnist Michael DeMattos expects holiday gatherings in the Islands to be bigger than in past years. That means there will be more guests who will bring food

    "It is considered poor form to show up empty-handed to a party here in Hawai'i," he says. "The host does not have to spring for the whole event, so there's always enough food."

    Food prices skyrocketed in 2008, which will force families to be more creative when it comes to planning holiday get-togethers.

    "Folks may hesitate to throw big, lavish celebrations when the overall mood is somber," Kane says. "But nothing represents the true holiday spirit more than spending time with those you love, so there is plenty of joy to be found in those intimate celebrations."

    KEEPING THE KIDS HAPPY

    Despite the gloomy state of the economy, parents want the holidays to remain a bright spot for their children. Parenting magazine recently asked about 1,000 moms to weigh in on the upcoming holiday and found that the majority will not cut back on the number of gifts they buy for their kids this year.

    "People will certainly adjust their spending, but we've actually seen that spending money on kids is often the last thing to go," Kane says.

    "Kids won't really even see the leanness of the holiday season," echoes family studies professor Hawkey. "Most families will cut back on things like dinners out before they cut back on Christmas."

    In Kane's home, a $25 cap has been set on all gifts.

    DeMattos points out that while he and his wife will probably spend the same amount on their daughter's gifts as in past years, the number of gifts will change as she includes bigger-ticket items in her Christmas list.

    DeMattos is looking forward to family and spirituality being the focal point of this year's celebrations.

    "Religion and spirituality will play a larger role in the holidays and maybe even the rest of the year," he says. "Folks equate the holidays — and life — with purchasing power. I like to believe there is more to life than the consumer index."

    This year, Scott Harris of Holt, Mich., and his wife of nearly a year, Kathie, plan to lay a foundation for their blended family that emphasizes spiritualism over materialism.

    The parents of four, each contributing two children from previous marriages, will celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas. Instead of buying large gifts for each child, the couple will purchase small gifts and put the money they would have spent toward a family weekend getaway.

    "In the past, all the excitement and pomp has gone to opening the gifts," Harris says.

    "This year we're planning on making Christmas and Hanukkah more interactive: more storytelling, more conversation, more crafts. Instead of allowing the material stuff to fill the holidays, we'll spend more time simply talking."