Kate Gosselin slaps her husband in the face on national television and I want to slap him, too.

Jon Gosselin is the overwhelmed and often-befuddled father of hapa twins and sextuplets in the TLC reality television show, "Jon & Kate Plus 8" (which recently made a visit to Maui, where Jon and Kate renewed their vows). More interesting to me, he's also the husband of a strong-willed wife who smacks him around verbally and, occasionally, physically.

I blame Jon.

In response to Kate's demands and instructions, he whines like one of his kids. He rolls his eyes. He backtalks her under his breath.

Jon wears a passive-aggressive pout that we see on the faces of men all across Hawai'i. It's the same look that lots of married guys wear. They're the ones who just want to get along and please their women but end up confused and unhappy.

I blame Jon.

He wants to be treated like the captain of his own ship and doesn't realize that that's what Kate wants, too.

So in the vacuum, she takes over and does what many women do — she subconsciously pushes and tests her husband a hundred different ways every day to see if he'll finally get it.

Kate probably doesn't even realize the real message she's trying to send to her husband: If Jon can't stand up to her, how is he ever going to stand up for her?

I blame Jon.

I stumbled across their show a couple of seasons back and found myself staring in awe at the sheer volume of kids and all of the noise in their house. After just a couple of minutes of crying and poopy diapers, I was ready to find something much more calming to watch, like maybe a destruction derby or an amphibious assault.

But just before I could switch channels, I saw Kate berate her husband and I suddenly got hooked on the tension and power dynamic between the blonde-haired, strong-willed Kate and her flustered husband.

At the end of most episodes, Jon and Kate sit down with the producers of the show for a quiet post-mortem interview. One exchange between them should be required viewing for any man trying to figure out how women think.

Jon was again complaining to the producers about Kate when she suddenly slapped him in the face with a force that I'm certain surprised even her.

Unable and unequipped to deal with his wife and what she had just done to him, Jon instead turned to the camera for sympathy and said something like, "See how she treats me?"

Her response should be seared into the minds of men across America.

Don't whine Jon, she said. "It's not sexy."

Maybe the next time Kate slaps her husband on national television, he'll finally get the message.