LOS ANGELES — UCLA is an underdog, a major and mangy one, one, by every account, of at least 30 points.

UCLA possesses an offense that lately has been significantly more productive for the opposition.

UCLA is completely unranked, mostly unloved and about as BCS relevant as another team of Bruins, the one that plays professional ice hockey in Boston.

UCLA can beat USC on Saturday.

Not our opinion, but the opinion of this nutty rivalry.

Says so right there, right where "13-9" is written. That's the thing about history; it always has the last word.

"That can happen at any time," Trojans coach Pete Carroll said. "There are some issues with this game, yeah."

For the sake of clarity, we are not predicting a UCLA victory at the Rose Bowl. We haven't been drinking, at least not that much. Ever.

If no one saw the Bruins' upset of the Trojans coming two years ago, forecasting a repeat this time requires Doppler assistance and a pyrotechnic imagination.

But in 2006, USC was favored by a comical 12 1/2 points, and then Pat Cowan happened. And Eric McNeal happened. And 13-9 happened. Ridiculously, impossibly and, for the Trojans, stunningly.

"I remember all of us who weren't playing standing on the sidelines looking at each other, trying to figure out what was going on," said linebacker Kaluka Maiava, a reserve then but a star today. "It's on us to take responsibility now and not get shocked like we were two years ago."

Still, it could happen and here's one reason why: UCLA can play defense, tremendously. Here's another reason why: USC can play offense, tenuously.

The Trojans aren't going to win another Heisman Trophy this year. Reggie Bush still plays for the Saints. Matt Leinart still doesn't for the Cardinals.

This offense drones more than it dazzles, churning out yards and points between stretches of flat, indifferent performance.

"The one thing for sure," USC guard Jeff Byers admitted, "is that our offense has got to show up Saturday."

Two years ago, the Bruins smacked John David Booty in the nose with blitzes concocted by defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker. The effort was so convincing that afterward Walker said he felt UCLA's defenders had penetrated all the way into Booty's head.

The Bruins have a new head coach now and a new offensive coordinator. They also have new players on defense. But they still have Walker, whom Carroll called "obviously a great football coach."

And USC's latest quarterback, Mark Sanchez, isn't known as nimble. The Trojans have permitted 17 sacks this season.

"This is probably the best defensive front four we've faced in the conference," Byers said. "We're going to have to play very well."

The Bruins absolutely cannot win Saturday by a score of 49-47. But by a score of 9-7? Sometimes a snowball's chance in Pasadena is enough.

"We went in there last time with high hopes and came out empty-handed," Trojans defensive tackle Fili Moala said. "We were just kind of lax at times out there. We can't do that again."

So 9-7 is a possibility, but it is worth pondering how exactly UCLA can accumulate those nine points.

A defensive touchdown and a safety would be the best bet. Three field goals? That would suggest some offensive advancement.

When the Bruins have the ball Saturday this will be a classic matchup of an immovable object meeting another immovable object.

USC's defense hasn't gone anywhere this season, standing mostly still. The same can be said of UCLA's offense.

Proud Notre Dame was reduced to kicking a late, nonsense field goal to avoid being shut out by the Trojans. Rarely were three points more pointless.

Against the Irish, USC didn't surrender a first down until the final play of the third quarter. That astounding fact cannot be repeated enough.

Carroll called the Trojans' most recent defensive showing "almost a perfect game." He also said it was "a huge effort."

Then he said something that really had weight to it.

"I don't think it was that much different," Carroll explained, "than the other performances we've had this season."

This assessment should concern the UCLA folks, who've spent 11 games witnessing an offense that has been a work in regress.

Good potential proposition wager for this game: What will be greater, the number of Bruins' points or punts?

"You always have to remind yourself what could happen," Maiava said. "We weren't supposed to lose at Oregon State either. We let that one slip away. We can't let this one slip away."

Still, anything's possible when these teams meet, even when one is playing for a Rose Bowl berth and the other for only a brief rebirth.

UCLA can beat USC on Saturday.

It defies logic and prediction, sure, but not this rivalry's recent past.