Stephen Colbert, star of Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report," says he knows what's wrong with America and how he can fix it. The beloved blowhard, dressed in pinstripes and helmet hair, has been ranting about, well, everything, since his show premiered in 2005. Now he has written "I Am America (And So Can You!)," to be published by Grand Central on Oct. 9 ($26.99). First printing: 1.4 million.

Q. You've gone on record saying books are dangerous and shouldn't be mentioned in the presence of children. So why did you write one?

A. First of all, I didn't write it. I dictated it. I shouted it into a tape recorder, and then I gave it to my agent. He transcribed it and sold it as a book. I found out, after doing this book, that the real problem I had with most books was that they weren't written by me.

Q. You agreed to this interview, but don't you have a real problem with the media?

A. Other than the fact that they're trying to destroy our country by inches? We talk in the book about the ones who are destroying America — the major news networks, the major news dailies, certain newspapers that are considered the paper of record, I won't name any names. NPR, obviously, and their dangerously measured barbiturate vibe.

Q. There's a chapter in your book about what you call the homosexual agenda. Are you more homosexual, metrosexual or heterosexual?

A. I'm 100 percent heterosexual because I'm only attracted to women, and when I am attracted to gay men, I get very angry. That's how I know I'm not gay.

Q. You do have nice hair for a straight guy. How do you keep it from not moving?

A. We snap it on every night. We rivet it in place. It's a space-age polymer. It's the same thing they put on windshields so that when they shatter, the glass doesn't go flying into your eyes. I think it's called polyvinyl buterol.

Q. Your book won the Stephen T. Colbert Award for the Literary Excellence. Were you surprised?

A. Not so surprised as I was honored. I knew I was in the running, but to win the first one — well, that's like winning the first Nobel Prize.

Q. Many presidential candidates write books before they jump into the race. Are you planning to run?

A. I have not made that decision. Obviously, that's something I have to sit down and talk with my family about. But I would be lying if I said I hadn't considered it, and to a certain degree, I'd be lying if I said I had. We'll see how sales go.

Q. How can your book fix America?

A. America is under attack by the media, by the homosexual agenda and a culture of sexual promiscuity. This is an attempt to fight back by reminding us of when America was greatest and is giving us a blueprint to recapture it. And stories from my own life also, to illuminate how other people should live. I'm not saying that people should be just like me, but as close to me as possible wouldn't hurt.