It is the strangest thing, but every time I go to the grocery store, I run into someone I know. Inevitably, it is a friend or relative that I have not spoken to in quite some time. Last week, an old friend nearly plowed me down right in front of the Portuguese sausages. The week before that, I bumped into my cousin somewhere between the pork butts and the porterhouse steaks.

Turns out that my buddy and his wife are now expecting their second daughter. I may be mistaken, but I thought I saw panic in his eyes. He said that daughter No. 1 has become quite a handful, strong-willed, stubborn, with a bit too much swagger. I thought these were fine traits. They may seem problematic at the tender age of 5, but they will serve her well when she enters the adult world. Still, with one precocious little girl, I imagine he will have a full plate once the second is in swaddling.

I quickly stole a glance into his cart and saw all the evidence of a frantic-yet-loving father; whipped cream for his daughter's sundaes, popcorn for mom when she wants a healthy snack and a cold beer for dear old dad. He was going to make it, I could tell.

Raised in Kane'ohe, my cousin and I live just three miles from each other. Still, were it not for chance encounters, we would never see each other. There in the meat department we reminisced about small-kid time and caught up on our adult lives.

I suppose it is not unusual for families to drift apart. Modern life is full of obstacles; it is a miracle we stay connected at all. This is certainly true for my cousin and me, but not true for him and his family. Rather than drifting apart, he and his siblings have been growing closer over the years.

He shared that it is all about the numbers. He has one brother and one sister. There is just the three of them. Having lost his parents when he was relatively young he knows that time is not always a friend. He is committed to making every moment count.

It may be a sign of the times or just a product of age, but I am spending more and more time in the grocery store. It is a good thing too, because if you want to catch up on what's been happening with family and friends, it is the place to be. Still, if you keep your eyes, ears and heart open, you can learn a thing or two.

I have learned that time spent reliving the past and dreaming about the future is wonderful, but it will never replace the value of the here and now. It is critical that we make time to spend with those we love, because you never know when time will run out. I have also learned that despite our flaws and foibles, most of us are doing just fine. We may be scared but the truth is that the light at the end of the tunnel is, in fact, the end of the tunnel and not an oncoming train.

Finally, I learned that I eat way too much meat. I need to add some fiber to my diet. Besides, you never know whom you may meet in the fruit and vegetable section.

Michael C. DeMattos is a member of the faculty at the University of Hawai'i School of Social Work. Born and raised on the Wai'anae Coast, he now lives in Kane'ohe with his wife, daughter, two dogs, and two mice.