'Helicopter parents' just keep hovering
By Barbara Rose
Chicago Tribune
CHICAGO — Recruiter Jack Downing worked hard to land an interview for a computer programmer in his mid-20s at a company with its pick of good candidates.
"It was a stretch to get him in there," recalled Downing, managing partner of WorldBridge Partners in Chicago, a division of MRI Network. "He really, really wanted this job."
Apparently, his mother wanted it for him too. When the company rejected her son, she called the hiring manager and left a voice message.
"Please call me," Downing said the mother pleaded. "I think you misunderstood my son's qualifications. You're really missing out on a kid who would make a direct, positive impact on your company."
What parent isn't ready to go to bat for their child? Even so, there was a time when it would have embarrassed both child and parent to plead for special treatment.
These days, a small but vociferous minority of parents does not hesitate to cross the line between behind-the-scenes supporter and overzealous advocate. They're known as "helicopter parents" for their tendency to hover even after their offspring leave home.
These Baby Boomer parents challenged teachers and coaches when their kids were growing up if they thought schools weren't doing right. They've managed their children's lives with super-attentive zeal for more than two decades. Why stop at such a critical juncture, when their kids launch careers?
Most employers rarely see or hear from parents, according to a Michigan State University survey of 725 employers. But 23 percent of companies, or nearly one in four, said they encounter parents "sometimes" or "very often" during the recruitment process or the early stages of a college graduate's career. Big companies see parents more often than small and mid-size firms, the study found.
Consultant Bruce Tulgan, an expert on the impact of Millennials or Generation Y on the workplace, said parents counseled this generation, born between the late 1970s and late 1990s, to believe that "whatever they think, say or do is great."
His clients report what happens when parents feel their rising stars are getting shortchanged. One mother called a private-equity banker to complain about her son's assignments and the long hours he was expected to work.
"He told me every minute she kept me on the phone was costing that kid $10,000," Tulgan recalled.
Phil Gardner, director of Michigan State University's Collegiate Employment Research Institute, said "most of the stuff parents do is benign."
His survey found that parents, when they do get involved, most often collect information about employers. Less often they step in to manage the application process, submitting resumes and scheduling interviews.
Sometimes they actually show up at interviews or salary negotiations.
One employer reported a long conversation with a mother who questioned why the company couldn't arrange a special interview for a student who couldn't make the scheduled campus visit.
Gender roles are evident, the study found. Fathers play the heavies more often than mothers, calling to complain when their son or daughter doesn't get hired or when a supervisor disciplines their child.
Some parents actually roll up their sleeves and work alongside their kids, helping them meet deadlines or reviewing their work and "making improvements in its quality," the study found.
Some young workers refuse to meet with their supervisors before talking with their parents.
"Often, they look first where they've always gotten guidance — to their parents," Tulgan said.
What's more surprising: Some companies no longer resist the notion that parents are deeply involved, at least during the hiring process.
Said one employer surveyed by Michigan State: "If parents can come to campus for a football game, there is no reason they shouldn't come to the career fair or our information night."
Over the holidays, several companies sent gift baskets to the homes of University of California, Los Angeles students they wanted to hire, recognizing that the students would mull their job offers with their parents.
Some asked students what questions they thought their parents might ask. Their reasoning? "I'm not just talking to this student, I'm talking to the student and the team that supports him or her," said Kathy Sims, UCLA career center director.
"I think companies are starting to embrace the fact that the Millennial student has been raised as a project, a team project," she said. "Everything they've done in life they've done as part of a team, and they're the center of the universe in terms of the team."