Posted on: Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Child's behavior depends on yours
McClatchy-Tribune News Service
Struggling to encourage good behavior in your child? Strength of will and effective strategizing can help. Try these tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics:
Work toward consistency. No one is consistent all the time. But try to make sure that your goals, rules and approaches to discipline stay the same from day to day. Children find frequent changes confusing and may resort to testing limits just to find out what the limits are.
Pay attention to your child's feelings. If you can figure out why your child is misbehaving, you are one step closer to solving the problem. Often, it helps to let your child know that you understand. For example, "I know you are feeling sad that your friend is leaving, but you still have to pick up your toys."
Learn to see mistakes — including your own — as opportunities to learn. If you do not handle a situation well the first time, don't despair. Figure out what you could have done differently and do it the next time. If you feel you have made a real mistake in the heat of the moment, wait to cool down, apologize to your child and explain how you will handle the situation in the future.
Avoid power struggles whenever possible. Instead, address only those issues that truly are important to you. Offer choices whenever possible. By giving choices, you can set limits and still allow your child some independence. For example, try saying, "Would you like to pick up your toys yourself, or should I help you?"
Make a game out of good behavior. Your child is more likely to do what you want if you make it fun. For example, you might say, "Let's have a race and see who can put his coat on first."
Plan ahead. If you know that certain circumstances always cause trouble, such as a trip to the store, discuss with your child ahead of time what behavior is acceptable and what the consequences will be if he or she does not obey. Try to plan the shopping trip for a time when your child is rested and fed, and take along a book or small toy to amuse them if they get bored.
Praise good behavior. Whenever your child remembers to follow the rules, offer encouragement and praise about how well he or she did. You do not need an elaborate system of rewards. You can simply say, "Thank you for coming right away," and hug your child.
