TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE

"Pirates of the Caribbean" (ABC) and "Cold Mountain" (NBC), both 2003, 7 p.m. Here are two sprawling epics, squeezing into television. "Pirates" has lots of flaws, all erased by the sheer whimsy of Johnny Depp's performance. "Cold Mountain" is a richly crafted Civil War drama. It piles up too much tragedy, but Renée Zellweger and Nicole Kidman add layers of humanity.

"Confessions of a Matchmaker" debut, 7 and 7:30 p.m., A&E. Patti Novak is a professional matchmaker. Blunt and perceptive, she makes an ideal centerpiece for a reality show. She works in Buffalo, N.Y., a blue-collar town that seems to have fascinating people. We meet a former bodybuilder, now bloated to 350 pounds. And a handsome guy who's 41 and a virgin. Both are willing to reinvent themselves. And we meet a young woman whose good looks are hidden by an extreme tan and make-up. She also phones her friends to come view her date; there's work to be done here.

OF NOTE

"Hitch" (2005, 5 p.m.) and "Men in Black" (1997, 7:30 p.m.), both TBS. Will Smith has become a dependable actor with any kind of material. "Hitch" is a barely adequate comedy about a relationship consultant who flubs his own relationships. "Men in Black" is a brilliant little comedy, about two men (Smith and Tommy Lee Jones) who keep aliens in control and out of sight.

"The 50 Funniest Women Alive," 5, 7 p.m., Oxygen; reruns at 10 p.m. This could be fun; there are lots of funny women from which to choose.

"Numb3rs," 7 p.m., CBS. In this rerun, a teen from Southeast Asia is discovered, still alive. Police learn of a brutal organ-harvesting scheme. Now they must rush to save the other victims who were with her.

"Legally Blonde" (2001), 8 and 10 p.m., ABC Family. A musical version of this likable movie is now thriving on Broadway. Now it might be fun to revisit the original. The story — shallow sorority queen goes to Harvard Law School — is kind of broad and blunt; it's saved by Reese Witherspoon's charming performance and by director Robert Luketic's use of a glowing color scheme.

"Saturday Night Live," 10:30 p.m., NBC. This rerun has Molly Shannon hosting, with music by Linkin Park.