SHOW BIZ By
Wayne Harada
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And all through the 'aina
Santa was chillin';
One weary kama'aina.
His gifts were delivered
His deadline was pau;
He was double-checking his list
And sighing "Wela ka hao!"
For Colt Brennan, who believed,
With Warrior pride galore;
A koa bowl filled with Sugar
For galvanizing UH lore.
For June Jones, it's simple:
A well-deserved bonus.
But that ticket-mess uproar?
Herman Frazier's onus.
For Duane "Dog" Chapman,
A huge gag and a leash;
To prevent da kine boners ...
Wrong ... shameful ... sheesh!
For Loretta Ables Sayre
Who has found her Bali Ha'i;
She'll make Bloody Mary a "somebody"
In her first Broadway try.
For Frank DeLima,
At last, a CD that's selling.
For Paul Ogata, laughter!
Plenty! And swelling!
That syndication nod
For talk-showing Bumatai.
More "Hawaii Stars" outings
For Kahoano and Kai.
For Jake Shimabukuro,
Who "Gently Weeps."
Another Beatles cover
Would make sales leap.
For Jasmine Trias,
Another guest spot.
With the Society of Seven LV
In a Waikiki slot?
For Society of Seven,
The orig led by Tony,
A one-time biggie with LV
Would, well, be tony.
For Don Ho, a prayer
Of hope and good will.
The big question now is:
His shoes — who'll fill?
For Lisa Matsumoto
One final noddah sigh:
Her legacy must remain
Doz pidgin-spiced high.
Another Iz reinvention
For wiz Jon de Mello.
After all Bruddah was
Da jolly good fellow.
For Mayor Hannemann relief
Re: potholes and rail.
Hope he no longer needs
That spare sewer-spill pail!
For producer Jack Lucas
Who brought us "The Lion King,"
Another Broadway sizzler
To make the registers ring.
For Matt Catingub, what else,
But "Romance in Hawai'i."
Maybe he needs to Superferry over
And share with Maui and Kaua'i?
A lifetime pass
On the ferry for Lingle
Would give her detractors
A chance to co-mingle.
A lei of 'ilima
For Amy Hanaiali'i Gilliom;
For John Hirokawa balloons
Filled with, what else, helium?
For Jack and Cha Thompson
More time for mo'opuna.
(Plus that HPU degree for Cha
Would make her one luna).
For Robert and Roland
Pikake, 'ilima would be pono.
For the "Plaid Tidings" crew
A hana hou would be 'ono.
His own Christmas show
For Uncle Willie K;
OK, with Barefoot-ing partner Eric
All tinseled, OK?
For Keali'i Reichel,
A high-def TV.
So he can endlessly watch
That stellar DVD.
For Jason Scott Lee,
At his Big Isle enclave?
Open space, green gardens
Would elicit a rave.
For North Shore's Jack Johnson
A Grammy would be nice.
A hot new CD for Segundo
Will surely suffice.
A work-family datebook
For Tia Carrere and Afatia.
They both have keiki
So prioritizing is, well, deah.
For the "Lost" cast? Scripts.
So they can resume work.
For filmmaker Chris Lee:
Will more biggies lurk?
An Okinawa trek
For singer Teresa Bright.
For Jonathan Von Brana?
More Elvis-like might.
A bolt of palaka
For Eddie Kamae:
Another stage role
For dear Marlene Sai.
For Tony Conjugacion?
Why, mele, maika'i.
For Auntie Genoa?
More power for her ha'i.
For Na Leo, sweet harmonies
For The Makaha Sons, too.
For Ho'okena, more time
For all that they do.
For Nohelani, a club
On shore for her shows.
For Robert Kekaula, what else?
Slippahs — for his big toes.
For Audy Kimura,
More tunes and more jingles.
For Karen Keawehawai'i?
More lashes, more tingles.
That still-unwritten book
Of poems by Jay Larrin.
For that Energizer Bunny Tadani?
Just rest would be garanz!
For Lisa, an end
To doctors, and chemo.
For Augie T, at last,
A year-round limo.
More vocal pizzazz
For ol' Jimmy Borges.
Plus a fee for Sinatra-ing
In that plane would be gorgeous.
For Bette Midler a smash
In her Caesars endeavor.
For Jim Nabors, gollee,
Retirement forever.
For TAG's Eric Nemoto
A new theatrical space.
For MVT's Dwight Martin
A "Doubt" that hits first base.
For DHT's Rampage
And colleague Dray:
A fab cast next year
For "Les Miz," OK?
A slate of excitement
For Rogers and Wong.
Holowach and Maltby, too,
Would chime up the gong.
For Army's Vanita Smith
More troops at Fort Shafter
To fill up Richardson
From seats to the rafter.
For our culinary whizzes
Like Roy, Alan and Sam?
More creative Pac-Rim menus
Including one with Spam.
For Alan T., for Russell
For Mavro, DK, Wayne;
For Gannon and Merriman
A nudge to James Beard lane?
Sweet basil, hot chili
For Keo and Chai;
They are, after all,
The masters of Thai.
For Millie and Fran,
Culinary outings hot.
New pleasures, new places
That really hit the spot.
For Boller and Rivers
Hot flicks in their valises.
For Brotman, Lau, Ho
More slack-key releases.
For keyboarder Samson
And Conover a club.
For all wannabe troupers?
Like your own little pub?
For Michelle Wie,
It's really quite simple;
Lay off golf, finish college,
Before returning to tee.
For Tadd Fujikawa
Still a darling on par;
More sponsorships, endorsements
Would elevate his golf star.
For Broadway's Jason Tam,
More roles and more applause.
For Raiatea, for Brittni
Some time to just pause.
For Melveen, Olomana,
Kalapana and others with history.
Why they don't record regularly
Is somewhat of a mystery.
For Marcelo and Burton
For Ron Bright, too.
A parade of blockbusters
Would certainly do.
For Jack and Maydelle
What else, but more travel.
For Perry & Price supremacy
(Their ratings never unravel).
More TV projects
For Emme, for Phil.
For Soria, for Haugen
May you never forget the drill.
For John Cruz, for O-shen
For Johnny Helm, too:
Why not a music fest here?
Tap Paula Fuga, can do?
And perhaps a jazzfest
In memory of Abe;
Could feature Kolivas,
Hamada, McCall, and yes, Gabe.
For author Kakugawa
A guide for her travels.
Her tales of lost luggage,
Means, well, she unravels.
For Kaponos Henry and Beamer
New challenges, new goals.
For Proulx, Masuda, Shari
Indelible roles.
For Joey Caldarone,
What else but money.
For Bonnie, for Aubrey
New clients would be honey.
For Barry and Nathan
A Hapa-ness store;
For maestro Andreas Delfs
Symphony patrons galore.
And nothing but "sunshine"
For KGMB's wake-up crew.
For other rating-share chasers
More viewers would do.
And to you, loyal readers,
You Mr. and Ms.
Happy holidays, have a mele ...
And that's Christmas Show Biz. ...
With today's column, Wayne Harada is on vacation. A New Year's Day column will appear, with Show Biz resuming Jan. 10.
Show Biz is published Tuesdays and Thursdays. Reach Wayne Harada at 525-8067, wharada@honoluluadvertiser.com or fax 525-8055.
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