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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, December 25, 2007

SHOW BIZ
'Twas the morning of Christmas

By Wayne Harada
Advertiser Columnist

And all through the 'aina

Santa was chillin';

One weary kama'aina.

His gifts were delivered

His deadline was pau;

He was double-checking his list

And sighing "Wela ka hao!"

For Colt Brennan, who believed,

With Warrior pride galore;

A koa bowl filled with Sugar

For galvanizing UH lore.

For June Jones, it's simple:

A well-deserved bonus.

But that ticket-mess uproar?

Herman Frazier's onus.

For Duane "Dog" Chapman,

A huge gag and a leash;

To prevent da kine boners ...

Wrong ... shameful ... sheesh!

For Loretta Ables Sayre

Who has found her Bali Ha'i;

She'll make Bloody Mary a "somebody"

In her first Broadway try.

For Frank DeLima,

At last, a CD that's selling.

For Paul Ogata, laughter!

Plenty! And swelling!

That syndication nod

For talk-showing Bumatai.

More "Hawaii Stars" outings

For Kahoano and Kai.

For Jake Shimabukuro,

Who "Gently Weeps."

Another Beatles cover

Would make sales leap.

For Jasmine Trias,

Another guest spot.

With the Society of Seven LV

In a Waikiki slot?

For Society of Seven,

The orig led by Tony,

A one-time biggie with LV

Would, well, be tony.

For Don Ho, a prayer

Of hope and good will.

The big question now is:

His shoes — who'll fill?

For Lisa Matsumoto

One final noddah sigh:

Her legacy must remain

Doz pidgin-spiced high.

Another Iz reinvention

For wiz Jon de Mello.

After all Bruddah was

Da jolly good fellow.

For Mayor Hannemann relief

Re: potholes and rail.

Hope he no longer needs

That spare sewer-spill pail!

For producer Jack Lucas

Who brought us "The Lion King,"

Another Broadway sizzler

To make the registers ring.

For Matt Catingub, what else,

But "Romance in Hawai'i."

Maybe he needs to Superferry over

And share with Maui and Kaua'i?

A lifetime pass

On the ferry for Lingle

Would give her detractors

A chance to co-mingle.

A lei of 'ilima

For Amy Hanaiali'i Gilliom;

For John Hirokawa balloons

Filled with, what else, helium?

For Jack and Cha Thompson

More time for mo'opuna.

(Plus that HPU degree for Cha

Would make her one luna).

For Robert and Roland

Pikake, 'ilima would be pono.

For the "Plaid Tidings" crew

A hana hou would be 'ono.

His own Christmas show

For Uncle Willie K;

OK, with Barefoot-ing partner Eric

All tinseled, OK?

For Keali'i Reichel,

A high-def TV.

So he can endlessly watch

That stellar DVD.

For Jason Scott Lee,

At his Big Isle enclave?

Open space, green gardens

Would elicit a rave.

For North Shore's Jack Johnson

A Grammy would be nice.

A hot new CD for Segundo

Will surely suffice.

A work-family datebook

For Tia Carrere and Afatia.

They both have keiki

So prioritizing is, well, deah.

For the "Lost" cast? Scripts.

So they can resume work.

For filmmaker Chris Lee:

Will more biggies lurk?

An Okinawa trek

For singer Teresa Bright.

For Jonathan Von Brana?

More Elvis-like might.

A bolt of palaka

For Eddie Kamae:

Another stage role

For dear Marlene Sai.

For Tony Conjugacion?

Why, mele, maika'i.

For Auntie Genoa?

More power for her ha'i.

For Na Leo, sweet harmonies

For The Makaha Sons, too.

For Ho'okena, more time

For all that they do.

For Nohelani, a club

On shore for her shows.

For Robert Kekaula, what else?

Slippahs — for his big toes.

For Audy Kimura,

More tunes and more jingles.

For Karen Keawehawai'i?

More lashes, more tingles.

That still-unwritten book

Of poems by Jay Larrin.

For that Energizer Bunny Tadani?

Just rest would be garanz!

For Lisa, an end

To doctors, and chemo.

For Augie T, at last,

A year-round limo.

More vocal pizzazz

For ol' Jimmy Borges.

Plus a fee for Sinatra-ing

In that plane would be gorgeous.

For Bette Midler a smash

In her Caesars endeavor.

For Jim Nabors, gollee,

Retirement forever.

For TAG's Eric Nemoto

A new theatrical space.

For MVT's Dwight Martin

A "Doubt" that hits first base.

For DHT's Rampage

And colleague Dray:

A fab cast next year

For "Les Miz," OK?

A slate of excitement

For Rogers and Wong.

Holowach and Maltby, too,

Would chime up the gong.

For Army's Vanita Smith

More troops at Fort Shafter

To fill up Richardson

From seats to the rafter.

For our culinary whizzes

Like Roy, Alan and Sam?

More creative Pac-Rim menus

Including one with Spam.

For Alan T., for Russell

For Mavro, DK, Wayne;

For Gannon and Merriman

A nudge to James Beard lane?

Sweet basil, hot chili

For Keo and Chai;

They are, after all,

The masters of Thai.

For Millie and Fran,

Culinary outings hot.

New pleasures, new places

That really hit the spot.

For Boller and Rivers

Hot flicks in their valises.

For Brotman, Lau, Ho

More slack-key releases.

For keyboarder Samson

And Conover a club.

For all wannabe troupers?

Like your own little pub?

For Michelle Wie,

It's really quite simple;

Lay off golf, finish college,

Before returning to tee.

For Tadd Fujikawa

Still a darling on par;

More sponsorships, endorsements

Would elevate his golf star.

For Broadway's Jason Tam,

More roles and more applause.

For Raiatea, for Brittni

Some time to just pause.

For Melveen, Olomana,

Kalapana and others with history.

Why they don't record regularly

Is somewhat of a mystery.

For Marcelo and Burton

For Ron Bright, too.

A parade of blockbusters

Would certainly do.

For Jack and Maydelle

What else, but more travel.

For Perry & Price supremacy

(Their ratings never unravel).

More TV projects

For Emme, for Phil.

For Soria, for Haugen

May you never forget the drill.

For John Cruz, for O-shen

For Johnny Helm, too:

Why not a music fest here?

Tap Paula Fuga, can do?

And perhaps a jazzfest

In memory of Abe;

Could feature Kolivas,

Hamada, McCall, and yes, Gabe.

For author Kakugawa

A guide for her travels.

Her tales of lost luggage,

Means, well, she unravels.

For Kaponos Henry and Beamer

New challenges, new goals.

For Proulx, Masuda, Shari

Indelible roles.

For Joey Caldarone,

What else but money.

For Bonnie, for Aubrey

New clients would be honey.

For Barry and Nathan

A Hapa-ness store;

For maestro Andreas Delfs

Symphony patrons galore.

And nothing but "sunshine"

For KGMB's wake-up crew.

For other rating-share chasers

More viewers would do.

And to you, loyal readers,

You Mr. and Ms.

Happy holidays, have a mele ...

And that's Christmas Show Biz. ...

With today's column, Wayne Harada is on vacation. A New Year's Day column will appear, with Show Biz resuming Jan. 10.

Show Biz is published Tuesdays and Thursdays. Reach Wayne Harada at 525-8067, wharada@honoluluadvertiser.com or fax 525-8055.

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