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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, December 22, 2007

ADVERTISER CHRISTMAS FUND
Single mother, daughter struggle to overcome past sexual abuse

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Help our neighbors in need

By Lynda Arakawa
Advertiser Staff Writer

HOW TO DONATE

Send checks, payable to "The Advertiser Christmas Fund," to Helping Hands Hawai'i, P.O. Box 17780, Honolulu, HI 96817. Helping Hands will accept credit card donations by telephone, 440-3831. Monetary donations also may be dropped off at any First Hawaiian Bank branch or The Advertiser's cashier desk.

To donate online, go to: www.honoluluadvertiser.com and click on the Christmas Fund icon. Monetary donations help operate Community Clearinghouse programs year-round.

The Advertiser's "Secret Santa" will match the first $25 of every donation to the fund. The anonymous philanthropist last year pitched in $32,600.

Material goods may be taken to the Community Clearinghouse, 2100 N. Nimitz Highway, near Pu'uhale Road. For large-item pickup and additional information, call 440-3804.

Donations may be made to particular families, but please specify the family. The money will be given in the form of a Wal-Mart, Kmart or Longs gift certificate.

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Cindy and her 10-year-old daughter have been trying to settle into a normal life, but unfortunate events from their past still haunt them.

The 40-year-old single mom, who is not fully identified to protect her child's identity, said she and her daughter both have been victims of sexual abuse and are receiving therapy. She said she's dealing with post-traumatic stress issues from the abuse and as a result has taken a leave of absence from her job, as recommended by her doctor.

Money already was tight for the family when Cindy was working as a concierge. But finances have become dire now that she's not working. The family receives food stamps and welfare assistance, which doesn't even cover the rent.

She's been trying to make up the shortfall by asking her family for help, earning extra cash by helping friends clean their homes, and collecting recyclable bottles and cans. But despite her efforts, she said she recently got an eviction notice.

Fortunately, after six years on the state's waiting list, Cindy has been told she and her daughter have gotten public housing with much lower rent. She's nervous because their move-in date has been pushed back, but she's trying to remain positive.

"It's stressful, but I've learned to look for the good things and look to the solution rather than the problem," she said. She said she's determined "just to hang in there and not give up."

For now, she and her daughter are working to cope with their past. But Cindy also is looking toward the future.

Cindy, who became sober after years of drug abuse, said next month she begins school to train to become a medical assistant.

"I'm still thankful for my family, no matter what happened," she said. "And I'm thankful that I have my daughter with me."

With Cindy and her daughter moving to a two-bedroom apartment, they need a second bed.

At their caseworker's request, Cindy and her daughter also made a wish list. Cindy's daughter needs clothes and shoes, and the two would appreciate a computer to aid them in their school work.

Cindy's daughter wears an adult size 16 pants, large shirt/dress and size 9 shoes.

Cindy also would like to give some presents to her 16-year-old son, who lives with his father, and will be visiting her over the holidays. He loves surfwear and wears a size 44 shorts, 2XL T-shirts and size 11 shoes. Cindy said her son has a Nintendo Wii system but does not have any games for it.

The family's wish list also includes curtains and curtain rods, a blender, an iron and ironing board, fans, a coffee maker and an iPod.

Cindy's daughter also has been asking for Heelys, a basketball, volleyball, bicycle, skateboard and a Playstation 2.

RECENT DONATIONS TO THE ADVERTISER CHRISTMAS FUND

Milton & Flo Kakaio — $300

Robert & Christine Estes — $250

Troy & Leia Lau — $250

Evelyn & Corey Anderson —$100

Gary & Barbara Baugh — $100

Catherine H. Hamada in loving memory of Grandma & Grandpa S. — $100

J, JS & JK — $100

Patsy & Raymond Kanzaki — $100

Ralph Koga — $100

Ellen, Lori & Ed Kohara — $100

Caitlin Ross — $100

Pearl L. Tengan — $100

Kelsey Watanabe — $100

John Weikum — $100

Ann & Frank White — $100

Lynn Wong — $100

Alan Cassady — $65

Emiko & Anatole Lyovin — $50

Harold & Rochelle McArtur — $50

Julie & Albert Morita — $50

Steven & Lee Ann Shishido — $40

Lance Watari & Lilis Malamah — $40

Jose & Maria Gomez — $30

Catherine & Richard Burns — $25

Lawrence Ching — $25

Daniel Imamura — $25

Jesus Loves You! — $25

Jesus Loves You! — $25

Jesus Loves You! — $25

Jesus Loves You! — $25

Jesus Loves You! — $25

Jesus Loves You! — $25

Jesus Loves You! — $25

Jesus Loves You! — $25

Jesus Loves You! — $25

Jesus Loves You! — $25

William Standley — $25

T.C. — $25

Anonymous — $500

Anonymous — $150

Anonymous — $100

Anonymous — $100

Anonymous — $100

Anonymous — $80

Anonymous in memory of Jamie Wagatsuma — $50

Anonymous in memory of Gentaro Kaneshiro, Thomas & Grace Higuchi — $50

Anonymous — $25

Anonymous — $25

Total — $3,980

Previous total — $135,911.28

Total to date — $139,891.28

Reach Lynda Arakawa at larakawa@honoluluadvertiser.com.

Make a difference. Donate to The Advertiser Christmas Fund.