"Smoking with Aloha."

That's one of those things that sounds like a comedy sketch, like the LG and his "Five Fruits a Day" commercial or the mayor with his press release titled "City's 'Drive Akamai' program a hit!"

"Smoking with Aloha" is a new information/orientation campaign from Hawaii Tourism Japan, the company that has the state contract to market Hawai'i in Japan. Apparently, Japanese tourism numbers dropped, particularly among group tours, since the state's comprehensive smoking ban was enacted last November. Would-be tourists from Japan thought the ban was absolute — no smoking in Hawai'i anywhere, ever — and decided that didn't sound like much of a vacation. So in order to counteract the "negative PR," as HTJ put it, they've initiated efforts to let Japanese tourists know that it's OK to light up. Kudasai, kudasai, please come back! This is how to smoke, save face and, most importantly, still spend money in lovely Hawai'i.

And the name of this program is "Smoking with Aloha."

Don't even start because you know there are "Hawaiian Cultural Experts" aplenty out there happy to "bless" this title with their mana'o-for-hire. Just because one Hawaiian or faux-Hawaiian gives the "blessing" doesn't mean it's not a wacky name and a forced effort. "Aloha" may have many meanings, but one of them isn't "just don't blow smoke near a baby stroller or an old man hooked up to an oxygen tank."

The HTJ launched a Web page that explains where smoking is OK and where it is prohibited, has a list of frequently asked questions and a downloadable file that can be distributed to new arrivals. Go to www.gohawaii.jp/smokingwithaloha. (It's in Japanese.)

Aloha is not a magic word that makes everything all right. The "aloha spirit" doesn't take the sting away from criticism, the materialism away from commerce or the stink away from cigarette smoke.

So what follows after "Smoking with Aloha"?

Spitting with Kokua?

Dumping with Lokahi?

Yes, smokers should obey both the written law and the unwritten code of polite behavior vis-a-vis nonsmokers. But "Smoking with Aloha" sounds like an attempt to mold behavior using mystic, emotional, all-purpose "everything is OK" words. Smoking with agape.

Smoke with care, smoke with caution, smoke with concern for people who don't want to share your habit, but use Hawaiian words judiciously.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.