Dear David,

Some vacation, huh? Seven years is a long time between visits, little brother. You gotta come home more often.

Hope O'ahu hasn't changed too much for you. Nothing stays the same forever, least of all this place.

Still can't believe you went to see the old homestead in Enchanted Lake. Can't bring myself to drive past it anymore. The changes wrestle with my memories.

And I always have to stifle the urge to knock on the front door and ask a total stranger: Are you enjoying the house I grew up in?

But I digress.

After you and your family left, I got to thinking about the two of us. The whole brother thing surprised me on several levels.

True, we're not close like brothers who live in the same ZIP code and see each other all the time. And yeah, we've lived most of our lives in different states and have different tastes.

But while you were here, family connections felt instantly re-established. Having not seen you in years, I had looked forward to this visit for months. I wasn't disappointed.

Good times.

The morning we had a surf spot all to ourselves, trading waves until our arms ached.

Camping in a windstorm.

Hiking into the hot hills above Hau'ula.

Drinking cold beers in the backyard and smoking fine stogies.

Good memories, little bro.

A couple of times when we were at the beach or buying a plate lunch, I wanted to hike a thumb and say, "That's my brother. Can't you see the family resemblance?"

It's all a guy thing, for sure. A comfort zone of the male persuasion. Maybe someone can explain it to me better than I can, but I know it was nice to have a brother around.

Yeah, I hear you. Attempts at deep thinking come with being a middle-aged man. It's also one of the privileges of being the older sibling.

But the brotherly connection went beyond the two of us during your trip.

Having your sons around gave my daughters an instant pair of big brothers.

To see them snorkeling, surfing or chowing down pizza reinforced my growing sense of family connections.

You probably saw it, too.

I watched them together and I could have sworn the girls felt safer, more relaxed being around their new big brothers.

Or maybe it was I who relaxed, felt safer somehow. They grew up a little bit, and I let go a little more.

Family is the most important thing in life. The family you have, the family you create, the family that stands beside you when you need to face life, shoulder-to-shoulder, with someone you trust.

There I go again, rambling like an old man.

Only one regret, really, about the whole vacation. The tattoos. I thought it was a joke when you first mentioned that, since you have one and I don't.

The next time you're here, we'll get them. We'll find something and square off against the world.

Love,
Mike

Reach Mike Gordon at mgordon@honoluluadvertiser.com.