Meaningful moments are seemingly around every corner when you have a child.

They grow so quickly that the milestones and rites of passage pile up one after another. Sometimes they happen so fast parents only recognize them in hindsight. At other times, you catch the moment like a firefly in a jar.

This was the case a few weeks ago as we prepared for Halloween. We went to the mall to find some of the finishing touches for my daughter's costume. It took well over an hour and visits to nearly six different stores, but we accomplished the task.

As we were about to leave, I noticed that my grade-school daughter looked sad. I asked if she was OK and she hemmed and hawed.

Mom jumped in and said that the two had gotten a little testy with each other as they were trying on clothes. I looked back at my daughter and my gut told me something else was up.

"I was hoping to look around," she said.

Was she asking a question or making a statement, I wondered.

"Is there something in particular you are looking for?" I asked. She insisted that there was not, but that she wanted to check out the girl's section.

So it had finally happened, my daughter wanted to go shopping.

Up until this point, she went to the mall when we went to the mall, and went to the store when we went to the store. Like all kids, if she saw something she liked, she would ask for it. Sometimes she would even get it, if it were within reason.

But this was different. She had her own agenda, and I found out that she had even brought her own money. She was not tagging along anymore.

In the children's section, the tables turned. She wandered the clothes racks, and Mom and I followed. It was hard to keep up, and I gained a new appreciation for the plight of a child, desperately chasing mom and dad around the store.

As she shopped, a million questions ran through my mind. Had I done all I could to prepare her for this moment? Does she know that corporate marketers prey on little kids, just like they prey on adults? Does she know that quality and a brand name are not necessarily the same thing? Does she know that everyone has a spending limit, and that that limit runs out long before you run out of money?

To my pleasant surprise, she compared prices, mixed and matched tops and bottoms, and even scoured the sale rack.

In the end, she picked up a blouse and a pair of slacks for 30 percent off. She passed on the pageboy hat and coordinated handbag and opted against the Cheetah Girl line.

Joining the ranks of the consumer is not a rite of passage, but it is a fact of life, and sadly, is central to our culture. A child's life is a constant push for independence filled with milestones, from the time they first crawl across the carpet to the day they head off to college.

Two weeks before Halloween, my daughter made a statement. She took a giant step toward her own autonomy, and I saw it as it happened.

I am not ready to give up the reins just yet. I have much to teach and even more to learn, but I know that soon, like the kid following mom and dad through the store, it will be my job to keep up.

Michael DeMattos is a faculty member of the University of Hawai'i School of Social Work. He lives in Kane'ohe with his wife, daughter, two dogs and three mice.