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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, March 19, 2006

'Finally!' together as husband and wife

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer

Ken Gemelli, of Kailua, and Peggy Sullivan, of Boston, were married on Sept. 4 at the Boston Harbor Hotel. The couple will live in Kailua.

Gemelli family photo

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The union of Peggy Sullivan and Ken Gemelli was 20 years in the making.

The two went to the same high school in Norwood, Mass. Sullivan was dating one of Gemelli's best friends.

When they graduated in 1979, Sullivan headed to the University of Vermont, where she earned a degree in physical therapy. Gemelli joined the Air Force. They didn't see each other for seven years.

In December 1986, Gemelli, who was living in Seattle, was on leave for the holidays in Boston. His friend, who had dated Sullivan back in high school, invited him to a New Year's Eve party thrown by mutual friends. He was hoping to reconnect with Sullivan, who had been working as a physical therapist in Hawai'i, and wanted Gemelli there for moral support.

Instead, it was Gemelli who connected with Sullivan that night.

"The minute Peggy and I saw each other, there was a very strong connection," said Gemelli, 44, a real-estate man in Kailua. "She was — and still is — beautiful, witty, very intelligent and simply amazing."

They spent the evening talking. And by the end of the night, Gemelli asked for Sullivan's number and promised to call.

But he never did.

"I thought, 'God, what a jerk!' " said Sullivan, 44, laughing. "I thought clearly he was not interested."

Little did she know that Gemelli was very interested in her, but his best friend, who had hoped to get back together with his old girlfriend, was upset at Gemelli and asked that he not call her. So he didn't.

"I had no idea he was actually being honorable!" Sullivan said.

About a year later, Gemelli and Sullivan both moved back to Boston. A mutual friend of theirs — one who was convinced they belonged together — invited them to her son's birthday party. Gemelli explained to Sullivan why he hadn't called; she decided to give it a shot. They dated seriously for five years.

But the relationship came at the wrong time.

"Both of us had a lot going on," Sullivan said. "We loved each other, but it wasn't working out. ... It was a time in our lives when our careers were in flux, our lives were in flux. We just weren't ready."

In 1992, after two trips to Hawai'i together, Gemelli decided to move to the Islands.

"The first time we came out here, that was it for me," Gemelli said. "We went to Kailua, and I said, 'I'm done. This is where I want to live.' "

But Sullivan, who had lived on O'ahu for two years and whose older sister has lived here since 1981, didn't want to move again. Though they knew the relationship wasn't going to last the distance, they dated for another three years before officially ending it in 1995.

Over the next 10 years, they lived separate lives. Sullivan continued to work in sales in Boston and had a few serious relationships; Gemelli got into real estate and got married. Though they kept up with each other through mutual friends, they never talked.

"I assumed he was happily married," Sullivan said, "and he assumed I was happy, too."

But the thought was always there, especially for Sullivan.

"We left on good terms, but there was always that underlying regret: what if," said Sullivan, who visited her sister often during those 10 years but never saw Gemelli. "I'd always wonder why that never worked out."

Last April, Sullivan got a call from her sister. She had phoned Gemelli to get a real-estate referral for their father, who was now living in Hawai'i part time after their mother died in 1997. Gemelli casually mentioned to her that he had been going through a divorce. She immediately phoned Sullivan.

"Ken is a very private guy," Sullivan said. "There was no reason for him to tell her that unless he wanted me to know."

After some convincing, Sullivan got up the courage to call Gemelli. He didn't answer; Sullivan left an awkward message on his voice mail.

"I give her all the credit in the world," Gemelli said, laughing. "She was dying on the machine. I almost wish I had saved it."

It only took that first conversation for Gemelli to know that something was still there, even after 10 years. "The minute I heard her voice I just knew," he said. "It was automatic for me."

Sullivan was coming to Hawai'i in May to visit her sister and agreed to let Gemelli pick her up from the airport. That, Gemelli said, was when he realized just what was happening.

"I was having a holy-cow moment," he said. "I'm thinking, 'What's going on here? I haven't seen this girl in 10 years!' "

When they saw each other at baggage claim, all the feelings came rushing back.

"It was such a surreal thing, my emotions were swirling," Sullivan said. "I remember getting off the plane, walking through the airport and seeing him standing there. My heart relaxed and melted. I knew it was the right thing."

They spent the first two days talking honestly about everything that had happened in their lives. By the third day, she was helping him remodel his Kailua home. And on the fourth — after a trip to Lowe's in Waikele — they were talking marriage.

"We started talking about what the future would hold and how this was what we wanted," Gemelli said. "So I said, 'Let's get married.' We had already let enough time pass to know that this was what we wanted. This was a no-brainer."

During a trip to Boston for a family wedding, Gemelli made it official with an engagement ring.

The couple married Sept. 4 at the Boston Harbor Hotel, among 125 of their close family and friends — all of whom repeated the sentiment: "Finally!"

Sullivan, who's still in Boston finishing up some work-related obligations, is moving to Kailua on April 4. This will be the first time the couple will live together.

"I'm just excited about being able to share my life with someone that I really love and just grow together and have it be meaningful in that way," Sullivan said. "I had no problems being single, and I was very happy with my life. But there was something missing in terms of sharing that life with someone else."

They're planning to start their own family once Sullivan settles here, another chapter of their long and winding journey. Until then, they can't wait to just be together.

"I'm most excited about just finally being able to take a deep breath and spend some time together," Gemelli said. "It took us a little time, but love definitely overcame all of life's obstacles and brought us together — again."

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.