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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, January 29, 2006

Quirks of the Irish

 •  Double takes on 2-week journey in search of Real Ireland

By Tanya Bricking Leach
Special to The Advertiser

Weathered grave markers in the shape of Celtic crosses, a Christian symbol of death and resurrection, dot the landscape along country roads in Ireland.

Photos by Eric Leach and Tanya Bricking Leach

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IF YOU GO ...

Staying at B&Bs can be a great way to soak up the flavor of Ireland. We interacted with the innkeepers and guests, and they turned us on to some great spots we might have missed on our own. Here are some of our favorite spots:

A side note on phone numbers: Your cell-phone service might have different dialing instructions. But if you're calling from a land line in Hawai'i, dial the international access code (011), plus the country code (353), then the local number, minus the initial 0. Local numbers in Ireland are listed below.

  • Kilronan House (70 Adelaide Road, Dublin, about $90 per person per night; www .dublinn.com, or call 01/475-5266): While our room was tiny and the cost about double the rate of most places we stayed, Kilronan House's location in the city was great, and it came with perks that made up for the price. Our bellhop spared us from a traffic nightmare when he offered to park our car for us, and the innkeeper steered us in the right direction for dining and exploring Dublin.

  • Dualla House (Dualla-Kilkenny Road, Cashel, about $107 a night for the two of us; www.tipp.ie/dualla-house.htm, or call 021/483-1640): We stayed in a gigantic room overlooking a scenic sheep farm. It seemed quaint until a tour bus arrived the next morning, with people filing in for tea and scones. It probably was marketing genius on the part of the innkeepers, but it disappointed me to see our little hideaway crowded with tourists.

  • Bellevue (Myrtleville, about $107; www.bellevuebb.com, or call 021/483-1640): We had Room 1, the largest in the house, with a great view of the Atlantic Ocean — and a big bathtub. For less than $20, the B&B also did two loads of our laundry in record time and even pressed my husband's underwear (strange, but true). More impressively, the hosts spoke at least five languages and called a local restaurant for us to ask the chef to stay open a little later to accommodate us.

  • Ceol na Habhann (Tralee Road, Listowel, a bargain at about $77 a night; www.dirl .com/kerry/listowel/ceol -na-habhann.htm, or call 068/21345): We chose this place because it had a thatched roof and looked cool in the pictures on the Internet. The owners, the Stacks, treated us like their grandchildren, lent us beach towels and served us breakfast on fine china.

  • Killeen House (Bushypark, Galway, a real spurge at about $191 a night, but it was fabulous; www.killeenhousegalway .com, or call 091/524179): We stayed in the Victorian suite of the 1840s mansion. I spent an afternoon lounging by the fireplace in our room and drinking the hot chocolate stocked there. It was grand.

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    An Spailpin Fanac, a pub in Cork whose name means The Wandering Laborer, dates back to 1779. Across the street is a brewery that makes a local stout.

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    Castles and towers are seemingly everywhere in Ireland. This tower, which tourists can climb, is atop the majestic Cliffs of Moher.

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    Local legend has it that Christopher Columbus prayed in the Collegiate Church of Saint Nicholas, in Galway, before setting sail for the New World.

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    An unspoken rule of the road in Ireland: Sheep have the right of way.

    TANYA BRICKING LEACH | Special to The Advertiser

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    One of the obscure details about traveling in Ireland is that some of the car-rental companies zip-tie the hubcaps to the wheels of your car.

    This is as if to taunt you that the hubcaps are not really going to stay on.

    Sooner or later, as a passenger watching your life pass before you as you edge closer and closer to a rock wall along a narrow, winding road, you will hear it: the ka-clank-clank-clank of a hubcap dangling perilously from a plastic tie.

    It is not a pretty sound. It is a sound closely associated with clenched knuckles, nervous prayers and ugly curse words.

    It also is the sound that welcomes you on a road trip of Ireland.

    I guess you could say this is the story of our drinking and driving adventures in Ireland. Although that may be giving the wrong impression: It's not that we drove drunkenly or anything like that. It's just that our Irish travels included both partaking in the pub scene and pounding the pavement in between each destination.

    WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD

    Did I mention that they drive on the wrong side of the road in Ireland? Yes, I think THEY have it wrong. The Irish do not believe in driving on the right-hand side of the road. I think they actually prefer the middle. It frightens the tourists.

    The Irish believe in equally frightening clockwise roundabouts (otherwise known as traffic circles), where Americans long to look left but must look right as they merge into traffic. In these dizzying navigational traps, it's best to repeat the mantra: "When in doubt, roundabout" and keep circling until you are sure of your next correct turn. (This, too, may involve clenched knuckles, tense prayers and ugly words.)

    If you have the misfortune of being in an accident, don't be surprised to hear callers moan about it on talk radio. Thankfully, we did not personally experience that, but we did discover that the Irish believe highly in talk radio ... and the understood rule of the road that stray sheep have the right of way.

    The Irish do not believe in sidewalks, shoulders or guard rails — or in automatic transmissions, for that matter. The cost of renting a car with an automatic transmission is astronomical.

    So I left the backward, stick - shift - driving - from - the - right - hand - side - of - the - car to my husband, a pilot by trade, who has Type-A tendencies behind the wheel. We picked up the rental car at the Dublin airport and headed into the city.

    It was not the most relaxing way to begin a vacation. That changed as soon as we met Alex, a French student working at our B&B who not only carried our bags up six flights of steps but also navigated a bunch of one-way streets to park our car. And then the innkeeper pointed us in the direction of a few decent pubs. That's what I call good service.

    PUB-CRAWLING WHILE PREGNANT

    The mere mention of a pub, however, brings me to my second realization: My Ireland experience would be a little different than I had imagined. I wouldn't be able to belly up to the bar the way I might have otherwise.

    The month before my husband and I set off on our long-awaited tour of the Emerald Isle, I found out I was with child.

    I should mention that my husband and I met over pints of beer at Honolulu's own Murphy's Bar & Grill.

    My Guinness-loving hubby didn't want to miss out on Ireland's pub experience. That is how I ended up pub-crawling while pregnant. And since I had left the driving to him, I couldn't even be the designated driver.

    I could be the sober one to remember the details, such as the George Carlin lookalike in Dingle, a song leader in the band at a real Irish Murphy's Pub who pointed to my husband to lead the bar in a rousing chorus of Johnny Cash's "Ghost Riders in the Sky."

    "Yippie-aye-aaay! Yippie-aye-oohh! Ghost riders in the sky!"

    And then there was Gilbert, the heartbroken truck driver at a pub on Inishmore Island, who bought us a round of pints and assured me that Guinness was good for the baby.

    I found that listening to stories of the locals and tapping my foot to the Irish jigs was just as entertaining.

    BUS GHOST RIDERS

    It took a while, though, to get over the disconcerting feeling of riding on the wrong side of the road. Maybe first-trimester nausea contributed to my jumpy disposition and inclination to yell "Stay left!" — interrupting the silent beauty of the striking cliffs and castles we passed.

    Renting a car gave us the freedom to go where we wanted when we wanted. But with an around-the-island itinerary, it also meant a lot of time in the car, half enjoying the scenery and half wondering whether we were going to make it around the Ring of Kerry or to the next town.

    I don't mean to exaggerate. My husband and I are easygoing people by nature. We got used to the driving situation. I even got used to the passenger side of the car being on the other side.

    Near the end of our trip, I stopped mumbling driving instructions. About the same time, my husband admitted that he had been shutting his eyes briefly each time a tour bus came close from the opposite direction. We laughed about it.

    I never expected we would be the kind of tourists who would pile on a tour bus to be carted around Europe. But the next time we go to a wrong-side-of-the-road country, it's not beyond the realm of possibility.

    We could be bus people.

    Yippie-aye-aaay!

    Sheep with the right of way. Clanking hubcaps. Wrong-side driving. A road trip on the beautiful Emerald Isle can be a bit crazy.

    Former Honolulu Advertiser reporter Tanya Bricking Leach, now a freelance writer in Alabama, can be reached at tmleach@gmail.com.