Wendy Peltier was breathless as she unlocked the door to her Wai'anae apartment. It was noon on a recent weekday, and she had rushed home after finishing her first job as a reading instructor at nearby Ma'ili Elementary School.

With only an hour to rest before she had to leave for her second job at a nonprofit agency — followed by six hours of school later that evening — Peltier dropped her backpack next to her sofa and sank into the comforting cushions.

The flustered Peltier had a lot on her mind that day — so much that she accidentally left her house keys in the lock without realizing it until she was ready to leave for her second job.

At 19, Peltier is already burdened with responsibilities comparable to adults twice her age. She's contemplating getting a third job to help pay her rent and bills. She squeezes in school with hopes for a career in law enforcement. She's taking classes to become a foster parent to her 16-year-old sister.

Peltier has a tough demeanor — she's been told she resembles tomboy actress Michelle Rodriguez — but that doesn't mask her vulnerability.

"It's hard," Peltier said with a soft voice. "I'm struggling."

For Peltier, the motivation to work hard and make it on her own stems from having an unstable childhood. She was 7 when she entered foster care; she's lived in 10 different foster homes in as many years. Last year, Peltier "aged out" — meaning she turned 18, completed high school and exited foster care.

The state Department of Human Services estimates that of the roughly 2,500 to 2,700 foster children it oversees each year, about 100 to 125 of them age out.

Like most teens who have aged out, Peltier faces a number of challenges in her transition from foster care to independence, such as finding and keeping a place to live, taking care of paperwork to enroll in college and continue health insurance, finding a job, even learning basic life skills such as time and money management.

"Transitioning out of foster care is a hugely emotionally and psychologically overwhelming thing," said Cynthia White, project director of the Hawaii Foster Youth Coalition. "... On one hand they really want to be on their own, and on the other hand, they're terrified."

Many find themselves wondering: " 'What else is out there? What will I do? How will I survive?' " White said.

While many teens face similar concerns as they become independent, foster children are at a disadvantage because they often lack a strong support system.

It's a lonely place to be, said Judith Wilhoite, program manager with the Hawaii Foster Parent Association.

"If they go out into the world and they are successful, they have no one to share that with often times," Wilhoite said, "... and then when life's trials and tribulations come up, they have no one to call."

REACHING FOR DREAMS

Former foster child David Barcelona fought back tears as he sat across from White at the Hawaii Foster Youth Coalition office.

"I'm just totally stressed out," said Barcelona, 20, his voice quivering.

Barcelona aged out of the foster care system nearly two years ago. He was homeless and had been spending nights with friends or on the beaches of Waikiki. He made his way to the coalition office hoping to find housing and employment leads.

"I need some kind of foundation," Barcelona told White. "My bank account, I'm like overdrawn. I'm in deep (expletive). I hate this."

"What do you want?" White asked gently.

Barcelona shared his goals of becoming the chef of his own restaurant and opening a nightclub.

"They're all dreams," he said, staring blankly at the floor.

"Well, you've got to start somewhere," White responded. "Dreams are where you start. ... By summer, what would you like your life to look like?"

"I just want a place to live."

Foster care experts say one of the main concerns for foster youth is finding a place to live after aging out and leaving their foster family.

"I think the hardest, most difficult thing for them is to find a home; a place that they can afford or a place that will accept them," said Kathy Bowles, community resource coordinator with the Hawaii Foster Youth Coalition.

If they have nowhere to go, "often they go back to really dysfunctional families," she said.

Others, like Barcelona, don't even have that option. His parents live on the Mainland. He has relatives on O'ahu and the Big Island but has been in the foster care system here in the Islands since age 6.

When we spoke to Barcelona about two weeks ago at the coalition office, he didn't have a place to stay. But several days later, with the help of a former mentor, he found an inexpensive apartment to rent.

Many foster youth are also concerned about being able to find decent jobs to earn enough to survive on their own.

"I'm worried about my financial needs because it's a really, really expensive world out there," said 18-year-old Ui Kuoha, a former foster child. Kuoha, of Makawao, will graduate from high school this year and plans to work and go to college.

While some foster youth are able to successfully juggle school and work, others have a difficult time, White said.

"College can be overwhelming, so we see a lot of them start out, then drop out after the first semester because they just can't handle it," White said. "They need time to get stable, to get economically accustomed to the stresses of trying to live on their own."

RESOURCE CONNECTION

The campus center at the University of Hawai'i-Manoa bustled with lunchtime activities and scurrying students; among them was Leslie Miner, who had just gotten out of her sociology class and welcomed the break with a wide smile.

Miner sported jeans and a dark blue Honolulu Community College T-shirt. She graduated from HCC last year with an associate's degree in liberal arts. She's now working toward a bachelor's degree at UH.

The former foster child, 22, lives on her own with her toddler son but has made school a priority since aging out of foster care. She exudes an air of calm, and her confidence is hard-earned: An A-and-B student at HCC, Miner received the Child and Family Service 'Ohana of the Year award last year, recognizing her accomplishments as a parent who herself had a difficult childhood.

Miner credits her social worker and others in the foster care community for helping her learn to live on her own, and make plans for her future.

"Social workers, they have all the resources," Miner said.

Help for foster youths is out there — from assistance with transitional housing to employment services and financial aid for school. (See resource box below.)

But often foster youth are unaware such resources exist, said Wai'anae teen Peltier, who is also the youth board president of the Hawaii Foster Youth Coalition. "Their social workers are supposed to let them know about these things," she said.

Bowles, who works closely with foster teens through the coalition, said she has seen youth exit foster care who haven't been informed by their social workers about the need to apply for continued medical coverage or that they're entitled to financial assistance for school, known as the higher-education board allowance, earmarked for current and former foster youth.

"Some of these things to me are not excusable," Bowles said. "The higher-ed money, for them to not know that, I mean, to me that's the difference between them being able to be successful and not."

There needs to be more accountability among social workers, Bowles said. "There should be a checklist that is just part of the job. Period."

The state Department of Human Services is continuing its efforts to increase awareness of such services and programs, said Lee Dean, assistant program administrator with the department.

"We try so very hard to make sure it gets out to everybody," Dean said.

Prompted by a federal review in 2003, the department started a push for more face-to-face interaction between social workers and foster youth. The department also has contracts with agencies throughout the state to provide independent living services for youth transitioning out of the system.

DHS is working with foster care agencies to develop new services, Dean added.

"We're in the process right now of working with the Hawaii Foster Youth Coalition to send out newsletters ... to the youth in care, ages 14 and up, to make them aware of what's going on," he said.

The department has also stepped up efforts to increase awareness about its higher-education board allowance. Several years ago, there were only 30 to 40 participants in the program; the number increased to 144 participants in 2004 and 167 participants last year, Dean said.

Once foster youth age out of the system, DHS stops tracking them. Social services are available, but it is up to the youth to pursue them. As Peltier and Bowles note, that's why it's so important that they are sent out into the world fully informed.

'ASK FOR HELP'

While social workers and service providers take steps to inform youth about what's available to them, foster youth should also take an active role in seeking resources and making decisions that will affect their future, Dean said.

"Ask for help, ask for assistance, ask for information," the DHS administrator advised.

It's also important that former foster youth turn to others for support, added Sarah Casken, executive director of the Hawaii Foster Parent Association.

"Utilize those positive relations that they've built over the years," whether it's a former foster parent or teacher, Casken said. "There are a lot of adults out there who really care about these kids and how they do, and they're willing to provide the support."

That's how Kuoha knows she'll be OK after graduating from high school and entering the world as an independent adult.

"It makes me feel scared, but I know I have a really strong support team right now that's going to be there to help me if I was to need them or if I was to fall behind," Kuoha said. "I have my social worker, my biological family, my foster parents, my coach ... a lot of people."

More than anything else, foster youth need to keep their heads up and stay strong, Barcelona said.

There are times "you will be let down, you will be depressed, you will be emotional," he said. "But stay positive, keep motivated."

And believe in your abilities, said Peltier, as she prepared to leave her apartment for work.

"You start at the bottom and you just have to work and work and never give up on yourself," she said.

Reach Zenaida Serrano at zserrano@honoluluadvertiser.com.