'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house

All our gizmos were whirring; "click-click" went the mouse.

We'd browsed on iTunes with red-eyed, blank stare

In hopes that St. Nick would bring an iPod player.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds

While "Blue" and "Bear" DVDs danced in their heads.

And I with my BlackBerry and my hub with the zapper

Had just settled down for a "Conan"-induced napper.

When down in the rec room there arose such a clatter,

I thought someone had kicked down all our CD platters.

We peered through the glow of the giant widescreen,

Which gave luster to our home of a dim, sickly green.

When what to my dry, gummy eyes should appear

But a jolly intruder — we'd nothing to fear.

With a wry look of mischief and dry wit so quick,

We knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

But ... uh-oh! He frowned at the Mac, he glared at the TV,

He shook a plump finger at the racks of DVDs.

Seeing the PlayStation turned his face beet-red.

And with a sad look, he turned to us and said:

"Tonight I'm alarmed at your stuporlike condition

And so I offer you a holiday proposition:

I'll trade you some gifts for a New Year's resolution

That you'll swear to cut back on this multimedia pollution!"

But he winked when he noticed our shame and our shock.

He chuckled, "Don't worry — shoulda seen what I left in Bill Gates' sock."

And then, from the giant sack slung on his back,

Healthy, family-friendly gifts he went to unpack:

There were cushy shoes perfect for quick evening walks.

Ready-made Sunday meals — no need to wash pots!

MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS FOR SING-ALONGS,

And for the tone deaf, there was even a gong.

Bikes, balls, skates, scooters to make us go steppin'.

Camping set, telescope to study the heavens.

Clocks that went backwards, to buy us more time.

Great read-aloud books (even some that don't rhyme).

Then he turned to our gizmos all littered about

And waving arms wildly, St. Nick then did shout:

"Shoo, OnStar! Shoo, TiVo! Shoo, Bear, Blue and Jojo!

Scram, PDA, RAZR! Scram, SpongeBob and Elmo!

From the top of the drive-through, from the top of the mall,

Now flip the switch, shut 'em down, turn 'em off, all!"

The gizmos went dark ... yet the house seemed much brighter!

And our minds — and our schedule — felt 15 times lighter.

St. Nick said no more, he just grinned wide with joy

As our newly freed family drew 'round the new toys.

We started to thank him; he just beckoned us to play,

Laid finger aside his nose, floated to his sleigh.

But I heard him exclaim as he got on the move,

"Happy Christmas to all — and lay off the tube!"