DEAR ADVICE DIVA:

A self-professed shopaholic, I live for a great find. I usually shop with one of my best friends, as she desperately needs fashion advice. The problem is, whenever I see something cute, she says she likes it and buys it, too. I'm afraid we'll have matching wardrobes soon. I want to be there for her, but she is driving me insane. How can I teach her the rules of shopping?

—Fashion Girl

DEAR FASHION GIRL:

The Advice Diva's a big fan of saying exactly what you mean, when you need to, as diplomatically as possible. Kindness and humor will allow you to say virtually anything to anyone. The next time she tries on the same distressed leather Daisy Duke cowboy boot as you, say, "Mavis, you are not allowed to buy the same things I do. We are a bit too old to look like twins. Why don't you try on that hot, just-under-the-knee Timberland lace-up boot? You can wear that with skinny jeans or a mini — a great look for you."

It's the open-faced version of what N., the Diva's sage fiance, calls the "insult sandwich" (compliment-insult-compliment). The idea here is to help empower your friend to develop her own style. Show her looks from magazines that would suit her and let her shop on her own. As long as you keep leading the way, she'll continue to mindlessly follow.

DEAR ADVICE DIVA:

I write on behalf of "Discouraged in Delray Beach" and anyone else living the Catch-22 of "Can't get a job without experience, can't get experience without a job." The answer: Take the best job you can get that will pay your bills and volunteer with an organization doing work you believe in. Most nonprofits have public-relations needs. Volunteering rocks: You help others in need; you gain valuable experience; your resume evolves; you learn more about what you really want in a career — and you feel good about yourself.

Years ago, I began volunteering with several animal-helping organizations and am now on my way to an incredible career doing communication, fundraising and public relations on behalf of animals and their people. Tell "Discouraged" to cheer up and go for it!

—Sheryl in Vermont

DEAR SHERYL:

What a great success story you shared! As a fellow animal lover, I applaud your dedication and thank you. For other readers interested in helping: Google "animal rescues in your city, state" for dozens of local shelters, placement services and no-kill rescue groups in need of support.

Send questions to advicediva@herald.com">advicediva@herald.com.