Dear Advice Diva:

My husband and I have been married for more than 20 years and our oldest child just went off to college. I feel kind of jealous, because he says he misses our older child and doesn't pay much attention to our younger child or me. I get tired of always hearing about the older child. What should I do?

— Unsigned

Dear Reader:

OK, Jealous Mommy, you are being embarrassingly honest about not getting enough attention from your husband, and we commend you for that. It takes a lot of nerve being so vulnerable. Now, take the self-examination a step further and ask yourself what's missing in the self-esteem department that would trigger your envy.

Instead of attempting to change a husband who is going through some very normal empty-nest sadness, why not do something to improve/distract yourself, such as take a continuing education class or volunteer at a pediatric AIDS unit? Feeling sorry for oneself is such a waste of time.

Dear Advice Diva:

For "Discouraged in Delray Beach" and anyone else who "Can't get a job without experience, can't get experience without a job" — take the best job you can get that will pay your bills and VOLUNTEER with an organization doing work you believe in. This path often yields a job eventually and most nonprofits have public relations needs. Tell "Discouraged" to cheer up, volunteer and go for it!

— Sheryl in Vermont

FIRST DATE

Turn-ons:

1. CHIVALRY! When a man holds your coat, door, chair, etc. — but he has to do this naturally. He can't stand waiting for a pat on the back for doing what any gentleman would do, making it obvious he's putting on a show.

2. Listening and paying attention. By not letting his eyes and attention wander, he's showing he genuinely wants to be on this date.

3. Being at ease and being himself. Being at ease shows confidence, and that's sexy.

Turn-offs:

1. Rudeness to people, whether they're cabbies or a restaurant's wait staff. Nobody is better than anyone else and being rude is just not acceptable.

2. Talking poorly about an ex or past relationships. It takes two to tango and everyone has to accept responsibility for the problems.

3. Pushing for sex too soon. Even if we're VERY physically attracted, girls want to know that we're more than just a potential bed buddy.

— Pendra King

The Advice Diva welcomes questions — particularly the more amusing ones. Write her at advicediva@herald.com.