This is my annual diatribe. In past year-end columns, I've ranted about poor restaurant service, stupid kitchen tool design and the glacial pace of change in supermarkets. This year, my subject is the mouth and the plate.

In my Catholic childhood, I was taught to "examine my conscience" and come clean about transgressions. Let's do a little of that now, shall we?

Look over the list of comments below and ask yourself if you've ever said anything like that.

"Think that's enough gravy, George?"

"You eat like a bird."

"If you don't eat meat, you aren't going to get enough protein."

"Oh, come on, one bite won't hurt."

"How can you eat a plate lunch without rice?"

"Is that all you're gonna eat?"

"Oysters, oh, yuck! How can you eat those things?"

"Wow, you must really like green beans."

And now, can we talk?

Here's what I think: Unless you're someone's mother, or someone that person is paying to advise them, what they eat, when they eat and how much they eat is none of your business.

Commenting on anyone else's food habits is not only rude, it may be damaging. It's enough to make a dieter throw over weeks of effort to hear the umpty-ump person remark on how little they're eating or try to pressure them into having dessert.

A friend newly diagnosed as diabetic was mortified when her auntie loudly announced at a holiday dinner, "No! Sissy can't have that! She has sugar diabetes!" Loving as the sentiment may have been, it drew attention to something my friend prefers to handle privately. And, as she said, "I could have that dish; Auntie really doesn't understand diabetes."

Which brings us to my point: Commenting isn't helping. It isn't kidding or funning. It's just inappropriate and often hurtful.

It's also counterproductive. People who are making bad food choices are more likely to dig in their heels when they're hurt or angered by comments on their eating habits. And people who are making good or better food choices often prefer to do so quietly, under the radar. There's also a very good chance that someone who has decided to make some change in their eating habits knows a wee bit more about the subject than you do.

As to remarking on how much you dislike a food just as someone is digging into a good portion of it ... most people find that pretty offputting. Except us Portuguese, who have an answer: Mais fica! More for me!

Aloha for a while: I'm on medical leave. I, and my column, will be back in a few weeks. Hold on to your recipe requests until then. Prospero ano novo. Hauoli makahiki hou!

Reach Wanda A. Adams at wadams@honoluluadvertiser.com.