Vanessa Ito never thought she surprised easily.

But dating Ryker Wada had proven her wrong.

Over their five-year relationship, Wada found little ways to surprise her. Like showing up at her bedside after surgery in Honolulu when he was attending Hastings College of the Law in San Francisco. Or how, without her asking, he made an appointment to get her car checked.

"I was totally shocked he did that," said Ito, 29, a counselor at the Kokua Program at the University of Hawai'i-Manoa and social worker at The Queen's Medical Center. "I wasn't used to anyone doing anything for me. I started bawling."

The biggest surprise came on Nov. 10, 2004, when Wada dropped to his knee and proposed on the top of the Empire State Building.

At night.

In winter temperatures.

"I was tired and freezing," Ito recalled, laughing. "I was running in and out of the gift shop because I was so cold."

The couple were married on Nov. 26 at Nu'uanu Congregational Church with a reception at The Royal Hawaiian hotel.

That's where Wada, a 31-year-old attorney at Legal Aid Society of Hawai'i, topped all his surprises with one that their 325 guests are still talking about.

He changed into a too-tight powder-blue tux he ordered on eBay and sang his own rendition of Adam Sandler's "I Wanna Grow Old With You."

(He later performed an unscripted dance solo to MC Hammer's "Turn This Mutha Out.")

So Ito wanted to return the surprise today for Christmas.

And here it is.

"Knowing that I'm very private," Ito said, "he'll be really surprised to see us in the newspaper!"

Though Ito can't imagine her life without Wada now, there was a time when marrying him was utterly incomprehensible.

"He would always tell me that we'd get married one day and I'd always roll my eyes at him because I didn't even like him at all at the time," Ito said. "I even had an 'I Will Never Marry Ryker Wada' chant. I seriously never believed I'd ever think of him as more than just a friend."

The two met at a Christmas party in Hawai'i Kai in 1997.

Ito, who was getting over a seven-year relationship that had ended just days before, didn't want to go. But her best friend insisted.

Then she met Wada.

Though he was funny and charming, Ito never thought of Wada as more than a friend.

So when he asked Ito to take him to her Christmas party at work, she thought nothing of it.

Wada, on the other hand, considers that their first date.

"To this day we argue about that," Ito said, laughing.

In January, Wada went back to Hastings and the two kept in touch through phone calls and e-mail. Every time he came home, they would hang out with their mutual friends. Still, Ito wanted nothing more than a friendship with him. She'd even tell him about the guys she was dating.

But about a year after they had met, Wada professed his love for Ito in a phone call from San Francisco.

She didn't feel the same way, but the two remained friends.

Until 2000.

They had become so close that Ito started to worry that their friendship would change someday. And that freaked her out. That's when she realized she might have more-than-friends feeling for Wada.

"We had a conversation about it, and I told him that something felt a little bit different," Ito said. "I thought maybe I was willing to give this a shot."

In May she flew up to San Francisco for his graduation from law school. She was excited but scared, wondering what a romance would be like, and worrying over their friendship if it didn't work out.

But it did work out. And by the end of the summer, they were officially a couple.

Two years later, they were living together in Nu'uanu.

They do almost everything together, from traveling to working out to eating at the Shabu Shabu House at least once a week. But they don't spend every waking moment together.

"The thing about us — and I really, really value this — is that we both know that the other person is an individual," Ito said. "We both have a clear concept of that, and we really don't mess with it. We do a lot together, but we recognize the importance of being alone, too."

Today the couple will most likely spend Christmas at home — cleaning the house of post-wedding stuff. And Ito isn't complaining. Spending time with her husband, even doing chores, will be the highlight of her holiday.

"Every day we're just thanking each other," Ito said, "and feeling very grateful to be married to each other."

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.