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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Sunday, December 25, 2005

Make one really big resolution for 2006

By Judi Light Hopson, Emma H. Hopson and Ted Hagen
Knight Ridder News Service

Ah, those New Year's resolutions. Like some people, you probably have at least five or six items on your list. However, make sure you tackle your biggest issue. That's how you'll improve your life.

For example, if your credit-card debt is killing you, go after that problem with gusto. Ask for help from a person who's knowledgeable about debt issues.

Another giant problem might be this: Jousting with your mate might have gotten so serious that at times the neighbors heard your yowls and threats. If so, get into marriage counseling.

Remember that a major issue you avoid addressing will end up controlling you.

The new year may be your year to deal with an unsatisfactory job, a child on drugs, or health problems. Whatever your weak spot is, go after it with a well thought-out program.

Here are some tips:

  • First, find needed resources. For example, if your child is on drugs, you'll need a good counselor and an excellent rehabilitation center. Find them before you talk to your child.

  • Give yourself a time line. Carefully schedule how to get things done. Don't attack a major problem without using time as a measuring stick.

  • Know when you're going to take action, and make yourself walk the walk. Make phone calls, write letters, or attend meetings in a well-paced way.

  • Ask someone to hold you accountable. Have this person check in with you weekly until your problem is yielding to newfound solutions.

  • Write down what isn't working. Don't waste time doing the same unprofitable things over and over. If your problem doesn't start to yield in six weeks or so, find mentoring or professional help. For example, if you're in debt, go to a credit counselor.

    While this may be your year to lose weight or redecorate your house, tackle your largest issue like fighting an enemy. If you don't, this particular problem may intensify by this time next year.

    Build yourself a do-able plan that you can realistically implement immediately. A good deal of the work will depend on you, unless you have a staff of people to help. But work hard and make the wheels turn.

    Judi Light Hopson and Emma Hopson are authors of "Burnout To Balance: EMS Stress" (Prentice Hall/Brady Books). Ted Hagen is a family psychologist.