Last weekend in Kahalu'u, schoolchildren and their families were photographed with Santa after getting a gift from under the tree and chowing down on a breakfast of fried rice, Portuguese sausage, scrambled eggs and banana bread. It was one way to get schools and families together to share the holidays.

What it wasn't, however, was a celebration of religion, said Amy Arakaki, Kahalu'u Elementary principal.

"It's about a spirit of aloha and 'ohana," she said. "The community works together."

While Santa may be a Christmas symbol, and Christmas a Christian holiday, the school has also brought a parent in to talk about Hanukkah and make potato latkes, a winter holiday custom among Jews.

"We're open to being exposed (to other cultures)," she said. "We want to include everybody. ... It's for the children, creating happy memories."

In multicultural, multi-ethnic and multireligious Hawai'i — where December means Bodhi Day, Christmas and Hanukkah — schools here don't tussle over the great "December dilemma" as some do nationwide.

Elsewhere the debate rages: Advocates call this respect for diversity and tolerance, while critics say practices dilute Christmas from a profound religious celebration to a bland "holiday season."

In general, Americans are split on whether a more inclusive "Happy Holidays" is better than "Merry Christmas" in public displays, according to a USA Today/CNN/Gallup poll last year (see graphic).

Even here in the Islands, there are murmurs of dissent.

"I find it a little ironic that without Jesus Christ, we wouldn't have the holiday, Christmas, yet the elimination of the celebrated figure is increasingly imminent in Hawai'i and everywhere," said Pastor Jake O'Neill of Calvary Chapel Honolulu, who sees the world growing farther away from God. " ... It's become each year more of a struggle to include a nativity scene in the Honolulu Hale display."

In Hawai'i, at least the issue of religious orientation of school pageants hasn't been an issue, said Department of Education spokesman Greg Knudsen, adding there are rules for such things as Christmas programs and school events.

"We have followed guidelines for more than a decade that do instruct schools that the inclusion of Christmas carols are permissible, with some conditions," Knudsen said. "The program needs to be secular, as opposed to religious. Religious material can't dominate the program. There can be a mix of carols."

That means students here can sing "Silent Night," as long as there's equal measure of "Jingle Bells"?

Knudsen laughed in the affirmative, then added, "Students can be excused without penalty if they choose not to participate."

While there are people who think if you don't say "Merry Christmas," you're "some kind of left-wing kook," Knudsen argues otherwise: "It is a holiday season. It does encompass a wide range of activities. Why narrow it to just one?"

As with many phenomena in American society, some changes in holiday celebrations have been spurred as much by fear of lawsuits as the urge to be tolerant.

Last year, the Anti-Defamation League sent letters to school administrators in Southern California asking them to "be cautious in how they choose to employ religious symbols and teach about the holidays," and to include religious information in holiday activities only if it is "presented objectively as part of a secular program of education."

And the Alliance Defense Fund, an Arizona-based Christian legal group, wrote more than 5,000 school districts nationwide to explain that the U.S. Supreme Court has never ruled that public schools must ban the singing of religious Christmas carols or prohibit the distribution of candy canes or Christmas cards.

Sometimes, however, efforts to strike a balance lead to unusual results. Three years ago, for example, the United States Justice Foundation sued McNear Elementary School in Petaluma, Calif., on behalf of a parent who said students should not be allowed to celebrate "El Dia de los Muertos" (the Day of the Dead) because the holiday was religious. Richard Ackerman, attorney for the foundation and president of the Pro-Family Law Center based in Temecula, Calif., said the woman he represented was upset because the school supported the Day of the Dead celebration even as it forbade Christmas programs.

A Sonoma County Superior Court judge ruled that Day of the Dead was acceptable to celebrate as a cultural event. "In the end," Ackerman said, "Christmas got banned, and Day of the Dead went forward."

Bill Woods, a Hawai'i activist who is interested in the separation of church and state — he last made news when he argued against redevelopment money for a Wai'anae housing project going to the Hawaii Coalition of Christian Churches, saying the organization would create a "gated religious ghetto" — said people should be inclusive, and shy away from the Christian-only aspect of the season.

"The fact is that those people who tread softly want to recognize all the realities of the people around us, and not discount somebody," he said. "By discounting, we're saying we're better than they are.

"We need to recognize the value in our society of everyone in it. ... If (government is) promulgating one religion over another, that's not the business of government and people will speak up every time they do it."

The Rev. Mike Young, who presides over the First Unitarian church in Honolulu, agrees with that take on the issue.

"We are, indeed, a religiously diverse community, and that diversity is worthy of being celebrated," he said.

"That phenomenon (of diversity) is growing across the country, and it would be nice if the rest of the country could affirm it as it is comfortably affirmed here."

Advertiser staff writer Mary Kaye Ritz reported local information in this story. Information about events outside of Hawai'i came from a Los Angeles Times story by Erika Hayasaki, Joel Rubin and Teresa Watanabe.