Posted on: Friday, December 9, 2005
All hail the Grinches among us
By Zenaida Serrano
Advertiser Staff Writer
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Andrew Meader slams SantaLand at MVT.
Brad Goda
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Billy Bob Thornton, left, and Tony Cox in "Bad Santa," about a store-robbing Santa Claus and his angry elf accomplice.
Gannett News Service
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Hate the holidays? Pop culture says you're not alone. The following movies, songs and books have clearly got your back, spewing the message: I'd rather hack off my pinky toe with a dull knife than deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa-la-la-la-shmah:
MOVIES AND SHOWS
"The SantaLand Diaries." Written by satirist David Sedaris, this one-man show stars Andrew Meader in a funny broadside attack on that most cherished New York extravaganza, Macy's SantaLand. Sedaris draws from his personal experience as a Christmas elf at SantaLand, unveiling the Christmas pageantry and all its victims. Showtimes are 8 p.m. today and Saturday, and 4 p.m. Sunday, at Manoa Valley Theatre. Cost is $20; $5 discount for MVT season subscribers. For details, call 988-6131 or visit manoavalley theatre.com.
"Bad Santa." In this R-rated 2003 comedy, the foul-mouthed Billy Bob Thornton dresses up as Santa and robs department stores along with an angry little elf.
"Jack Frost." No. Not the warm and fuzzy flick starring Michael Keaton and Kelly Preston. This 1998 R-rated B movie follows a snowman who goes on a murderous rampage.
MORE MOVIES/SHOWS
"The Nightmare Before Christmas." A cult classic among Goths, this 1993 animated holiday film is magical, yes, but in a dark and wicked way.
"I Love the Holidays" on VH1. True to its "I Love" series, this one's full of the same wit and sarcasm. A batch of smart-aleck comedians and celebrities reflect on some of the most beloved traditions of Christmas and Chanukah: What's really in a fruitcake? And what's a dreidel for, anyway? Check TV listings for show times.
TUNES
Bob and Doug McKenzie's "Twelve Days of Christmas." This rendition starts off with: "OK, on the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me ... beer."
Tom Lehrer's "A Christmas Carol." Here's a sampling: "Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens. Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens. Even though the prospect sickens, brother, here we go again."
Elmo and Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer." It's become an anti-Christmas classic.
"Twisted Christmas." Tracks on this Bob Rivers Comedy Corp CD include "I'm Dressin' Up Like Santa (When I Get Out On Parole)," "We Wish You Weren't Living With Us" and "Wreck the Malls."
BOOKS
"Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us," by Allen Salkin. Salkin explores the real world of Festivus, the Dec. 23 event celebrated by Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller) in that classic Seinfeld episode.
"Skipping Christmas," by John Grisham. This novel, which follows a couple who want to skip Christmas one year, offers a look at the insanity that has become part of the holiday tradition.
"I Hate Christmas: A Manifesto for the Modern-Day Scrooge," by Daniel Blythe, "Ethel Burke's What I Hate About Christmas," by Ed Strnad, or "I Hate Christmas: 303 Reasons Why You Should, Too," by Susan Murphy. Need we say more?
Reach Zenaida Serrano at zserrano@honoluluadvertiser.com.
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