WAHIAWA — Comedian Jeffrey Ross brought down the house with jokes about Pamela Anderson, his haircut, his former girlfriend and his anatomy.

Pretty much none of which can be repeated in the newspaper.

In laughing up a blue streak with nearly 1,000 soldiers at Schofield Barracks' Sergeant E.R. Smith Theater, it was Ross' way of saying thank you for their service, including, for many, a year spent in either Iraq or Afghanistan.

The USO show, with Air Force Gen. Richard B. Myers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, comedian Colin Quinn, pinup and TV show personality Leeann Tweeden and pro football Hall of Famer Gale Sayers, yesterday made Hawai'i stop No. 16 on a whirlwind tour that included visits with troops in Iraq, Afghanistan and Kuwait.

They then trouped to Marine Corps Base Hawai'i at Kane'ohe Bay for an afternoon performance.

Schofield officials said USO — United Services Organization — usually puts on the shows in Hawai'i following deployments.

"How many folks just got back from Iraq or Afghanistan here?" asked Myers of the camouflage-uniformed audience. Three-quarters of the soldiers in the theater put up their hands.

"God bless you for your service," Myers told them.

Ross, who recently took part in a celebrity roast of Pamela Anderson, jokingly singed 25th Infantry Division (Light) commander Maj. Gen. Benjamin Mixon, a couple of soldiers, and an officer who made two mistakes: (1) coming in very late, and (2) sitting relatively close to the stage.

"Sir, where the ... were you? I got here on time from Japan," Ross said as the crowd roared. "This is ridiculous. What were you doing? Parking your scooter? Oh, I'm gonna get shot."

First Sgt. Gary Canteen, 35, from Yonkers, N.Y., who spent a year in Afghanistan and got back in February, said he appreciated Ross' "down-to-earth" humor.

"He was outta control," said a smiling Canteen, who is with Division Support Command.

"This was great," he added. "An opportunity for soldiers to wind down and appreciate those (celebrities) who appreciate them."

Canteen had seen Tweeden, who's on "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" and "NASCAR Nation," in Afghanistan. She has been to Iraq and Afghanistan with the USO five times.

Sgt. John Steele, 26, from Bremerton, Wash., was with the 3rd Battalion, 7th Field Artillery in Afghanistan. Half the year was spent at Forward Operating Base Lawara near the Pakistan border, where soldiers lived in mud buildings.

Because the base was so remote, there were no USO stops there. Steele was in Kandahar for the other half of the year, where the Hooters Girls made an appearance.

"It was hard being away from my family, but it feels like it was worth it," said Steele, who has kids 2 and 8. "Just being here and realizing how much people appreciate (the service) just makes you feel like you did something worthwhile."

Quinn told the crowd that every time he goes to Iraq, people smile with that "crooked smile (and say), 'You're going over there, huh?' Be careful.' OK, how do you suggest I do that, sir? Look both ways before I cross the Sunni Triangle?"

The four celebrities later signed autographs outside the theater, and Myers talked with soldiers.

"It (the show) helps a lot, because it keeps everybody grounded, knowing that you have those that are talking about you, people in America, the stars. They appreciate and want to give back," Canteen said.

Reach William Cole at wcole@honoluluadvertiser.com.