Eventually, it seems, all talk leads to Jonas
These days I can't seem to have a conversation about pop culture that doesn't include a Jonas Brothers reference.
Who am I kidding? Lately, I've had to acknowledge I've developed a disturbing tendency to insert the three band members or Bonus Jonas Frankie into a conversation on just about any topic whether it's appropriate or not.
It's not that I don't have lots of age-appropriate interests and peers to discuss them with. The problem is that my two kids have conditioned me to avoid most of these topics because at least one of them deems the subject:
• Too boring: Current events that don't involve anyone at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards, politics, music from the last millennium and any live-action movie or television show that doesn't star a teenager who wants to be a pop star.
• Too mean: Not only am I not supposed to say anything that might be construed as teasing, but I also can't give unwanted instructions or constructive criticism at any volume without being accused of yelling.
• Too scary: Anything by Tim Burton or Neil Gaiman (sniff, sniff) and — except when they show up on "Wizards of Waverly Place" — supernatural creatures like shape-shifters, vampires and zombies, which is particularly painful since I just set aside "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" to read "Mr. Darcy, Vampyre" instead.
• Too gross: Anything that hints that I might find someone attractive, with the exception of Spencer on "iCarly."
• Too disturbing: Anything that forces the kids to contemplate what it would be like if they weren't the center of my universe, perhaps because someone sucked out my blood or stole my heart.
Obviously these rules are broken all the time because I'm a big meanie, but in times of peace we have a few "safe" topics, all kid-friendly and unlikely to make sense to anyone who who doesn't know who Miranda Cosgrove is, or that her show has more viewers than "Hannah Montana."
The exception would be ubiquitous Jonas Brothers, teen idols who have appeared everywhere from an inaugural concert to "Saturday Night Live,"and who are vanilla enough to be mostly inoffensive unless you're an adult losing credibility every time you say "Jonas" because you're old enough to know better.
When she's not being a reporter, Treena Shapiro is busy with her real job, raising a son and daughter. Check out her blog at www.HonoluluAdvertiser.com/Blogs.
