The second-worst news for the Redskins on Sunday � after their 20-17 loss to Carolina � was the Kansas City Chiefs� overtime loss to Dallas. That leaves Washington�s next opponent still without a victory, and as we all know, the Redskins are the amuse-bouche of choice for the winless.

It�ll be hard to top last week at Redskins Park � bickering backfield mates, a new offensive consultant, a suddenly silent defensive coordinator, all capped by a loss to an 0-3 team � but if any team can put the fun in dysfunctional, it�s this one.
If Sunday�s offensive performance is the result of �another set of eyes,� as executive vice president of football operations Vinny Cerrato called newly hired consultant Sherman Lewis, then quick, where are the blindfolds? Perhaps this could be Washington�s take on the Terrible Towel: Issue a black scarf and a cigarette to every fan brave enough � or angry enough � to attend Sunday�s game.
Don�t get me wrong: I don�t think Sunday�s offensive, uh, performance can be laid at 67-year-old Lewis�s door. He�s been �another set of eyes� � is that what it says on his business card? � for less than a week (roughly the same amount of time on the job as half of the Redskins� offensive linemen). But when the Fox TV cameras panned up to the coaches� box Sunday for a shot of �another set of eyes,� I half-expected to hear that thumping bass and see that stack of money from the Geico commercials. (Update: Dan Snyder just called Geico to check on the money�s availability. Or the gecko�s.)
Lewis has rings; he�s the Sauron of the NFL, for heaven�s sake. But he�s been away from the league for five years. He probably thinks the Wildcat offense is something Goldie Hawn drew up for Woody Harrelson. (Update: Dan Snyder just diverted Redskins One to California to meet with Hawn.) I have to think that Lewis spent his flight back to D.C. on Sunday evening thinking, �I gave up delivering Meals on Wheels for this?�
God knows what Zorn was thinking. He was as down Monday as I�ve seen him this season. �I feel bad,� he admitted. �I�m hurting.� He�s employed for at least another week, but at this point, he�s hanging on like a guy trying to win one of those free cars at a dealership. His arm�s gotta be getting tired.
I know Lewis is an expert on the West Coast offense, but what the Redskins are running these days isn�t really a West Coast offense, is it? The Redskins� offense is to Bill Walsh�s 49ers� as �Mystic Pizza� is to �Mystic River.� Truthfully, I don�t think there�s a name for what the Redskins are running. Or maybe there is, but not a name I can repeat.
According to wide receiver Malcolm Kelly, Lewis is sitting in on meetings but not speaking at them. �Not yet at least,� said Kelly, who did have a little one-on-one with Lewis.
�I talked to him just because he was out there when Jerry Rice was out there� in San Francisco, Kelly said. �He was giving me little pointers and things like that, little things to work on. Just, you know, another set of eyes looking at everybody.�
It always comes back to the eyes. My original set was just hoping to see some improvement Sunday. Instead, when we had a picture at all � thanks, Fox! � we saw 74 yards rushing, 124 yards passing and 2 of 9 third-down conversions. The offense did score on two of three red zone opportunities, but in both instances, the defense handed them the ball inside the 20-yard line. So the Redskins are no longer having trouble scoring in the red zone; they just can�t get to the red zone. That seems to be a step backward. And with Chris Samuels out for Sunday�s game, that�s not going to get any better.
�It�s our offense, we�ve got to get going,� Antwaan Randle El said. �Our defense did real well setting us up down there but we didn�t sustain enough drives to go down and score later on.�
Clinton Portis looked energized early in the game, but faded � he took oxygen after a half-yard touchdown drive. Albert Haynesworth is still taking a knee more often than a priest during Lent. Why don�t they just go ahead and replace the benches with Victorian fainting couches?
And speaking of Portis � we have to speak of Portis, not to him, because in addition to making himself available only one day a week at Redskins Park, he also refused to speak after Sunday�s loss � I�m sure he didn�t want to answer questions about his dust-up with Mike Sellers, who also refused to speak. So did D�Anthony Batiste � D�Anthony Batiste? Please. Two of the team�s biggest talkers, Chris Cooley and Fred Smoot, are mum. So is the defensive coordinator. A siege mentality is developing, with the media playing the role of scapegoat. That�s hardly surprising.
Meantime, thank God there is another set of eyes on this team � because on Sundays, most people have theirs squeezed tightly shut.