You say you've been a University of Hawai'i football fan for ages. You or your family have had season tickets since Aloha Stadium opened. You hardly miss a game.

Swell, but how well do you really know this week's topic, Dick Tomey UH trivia?

Tomey is — for the moment, at least — still UH's winningest football coach against NCAA competition, having won 63 games between 1977 and '86 when he resuscitated a languishing program. With Tomey's current team, San Jose State, playing UH Saturday night at Aloha Stadium, a lot of old tales are being revived. So, test your knowledge of some of them from the Tomey Era.

1. After one of Tomey's teams had a particularly bad game, KGMB sportscaster Larry Beil substituted tape of which comedy act for UH highlights on the news?

A. Laurel and Hardy.
B. The Three Stooges.
C. Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin.

2. Tomey almost became an ex-UH coach in 1979 when:

A. Before a game at Texas-El Paso he went jogging into Mexico without his identification and had trouble getting back across the border.
B. He told off the school president.
C. He tried to change the school nickname.

3. To help build up his team's mental toughness, one year Tomey brought in Tony Robbins, who had UH players:

A. Walk on hot coals and chant "cool moss."
B. Wade through a pit of snakes.
C. Climb Haleakala.

4. When trailing Texas-El Paso at halftime one year at Aloha Stadium, Tomey told an interviewer on live radio:

A. "UTEP is nuthin'."
B. "We'll jam it down their throats in the second half."
C. "We weren't worth a (bleep)."

5. Tomey is best remembered for which bit of occasional trickery?

A. The Statue of Liberty.
B. Hook and lateral.
C. Muddle huddle.

6. In an insurance commercial Tomey's much-quoted line had to do with:

A. Apples and oranges.
B. Fire and water.
C. Heaven and earth.

7. When UH trailed Wyoming 13-0 in the first quarter of a 1986 game at Aloha Stadium, Tomey turned around his team to a 35-19 victory by:

A. Drop-kicking a ball.
B. Flinging his headset into the eighth row of seats.
C. Calling timeout and blistering his team on the sidelines.

8. When the UH athletic director's job he had coveted — and some thought he'd been promised — went instead to Herman Frazier, Tomey:

A. Woke up UH President Evan Dobelle at 5 a.m.
B. Called Sen. Daniel Inouye in Washington, D.C.
C. Called the Pacific Fleet Commander.

9. What is Tomey's record against UH?

A. 0-2.
B. 1-1.
C. 2-0.

10. Tomey's best friend among WAC coaches was the one guy he was unable to beat in eight tries while at UH. Who was it?

A. Fisher DeBerry at Air Force.
B. LaVell Edwards at BYU.
C. Dennis Erickson at Wyoming.

11. How many former Tomey assistants at UH went on to become head coaches in college?

A. Just June Jones.
B. Three.
C. Six.

12. Tomey's UH teams played how many national champions?

A. Two.
B. Four.
C. None.

Answers: 1, B. 2, A. 3, A. 4, C 5, C. 6, A. 7, C. 8, A. 9, B. 10, B. 11, C. (Rip Scherer, Bob Wagner, Bob Burt, Dave Fagg, Rich Ellerson and June Jones) 12, A (USC in 1978 and BYU in 1984).

Reach Ferd Lewis at flewis@honoluluadvertiser.com or 525-8044.