You've heard the stories, even from professed eyewitnesses, but it's still hard to believe they're real.

The wallabies in Kalihi Valley.

The iguanas in Waimanalo.

The white lady in 'Iao Valley.

The Hawaiian bracelets the size of Campbell's soup cans.

But it's true. It's all true.

Of the various local urban legends, perhaps the soup can-sized bracelet is hardest to believe. After all, there have been news stories about the Kalihi wallaby colony and the Makapu'u iguana captures, and people have collected pictures of the white lady in 'Iao for years; she's hardly a shy ghost.

But the bracelets, seriously, who would wear sleeves of gaudy gold the length of a blood-pressure cuff?

Who would have the arm strength to carry it off?

Who would limit their wardrobe to the requisite tank tops and cap sleeves to carry off the look?

Turns out lots of women would, and they're all named Ku'uipo and they shop for jewelry in stores where items are kept in a cage.

It's hard to describe the scrolling design on the mega-bracelet. It's not just one motif, like laua'e or hibiscus or the black enameled name on the more demure half-inch Hawaiian bracelets. It's every design all at once. There's a lot of real estate to landscape. A couple of laua'e leaves are not gonna cover it.

There's a map of the Hawaiian Islands, complete with Kaho'olawe, Nihoa, Lehua and Manana. Each island is labeled in black enameled Old English script. There are breaching whales, jumping dolphins, soaring 'iwa. Hibiscus, plumeria, bird of paradise, pua kenikeni, a long rope of maile and — what's that? — a headdress from the Drums of Polynesia lu'au show? There are nene, warriors with spears, a UH logo, a shaka and a bowl of loco moco. And that's just on one side.

Alternative designs, also available on the smaller tuna-can sized Hawaiian bracelets, include Pooh, kanji characters and those droopy-eyed Precious Moments moppets. Picture Eeyore with tribal tats. So Xxtreme.

You figure there has to be a hidden hinge so Ipo can put the bracelet on. Those things are just too solid to squeeze your whole forearm through. Plus, if you have the arm to hold up one of the things, your hand has to be pretty beefy, too. Either that or it's welded on to her.

Some of the smaller versions of the traditional Hawaiian gold bracelets have undergone modern makeovers as well. You can get quilt pattern motifs, hybrid homages to the classic Ming's cut-out designs, blue enameled lettering, gem and jade inlay and thick breastplate-inspired necklaces.

And certainly, in this modern world of laser etching, computer-aided design and purchasing power, if you want, you can get a Campbell's soup can-sized gold Hawaiian bracelet with the 'Iao white lady, the Waimanalo iguana and a herd of Kalihi wallaby scampering across that flashy metal sleeve.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.