At last — more time to spend together
By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Staff Writer
When Sandra Larew asked Jerry Bangerter to dance, back in 1954, she didn't know he'd turn out to be the man she'd marry.
Especially when Bangerter's response was: "You're a glutton for punishment." (He wasn't much of a dancer.)
"I've often thought back on that," said Larew with a laugh.
But the two juniors at Davis High School in Bountiful, Utah, hit it off that night at the school mixer. So much so that the normally shy Bangerter asked her to be his junior-prom date. Larew accepted — even though she had already accepted an offer from another boy at school.
"That was so unlike me, it was such an anomaly," Larew said. "But I just wanted to go to the prom with him. I guess I really was a glutton for punishment!"
The couple, who now live in Kailua, celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last month with their three children and seven grandchildren.
"We're still basically the same, but hopefully we've improved," said Larew, 68, the principal broker at RE/MAX Kai Lani. "I think we're far brighter, smarter and wiser now. ... We've grown up."
After that first date to the junior prom, Larew and Bangerter remained an item for their last two years in high school, going on picnics in the summer and dancing at big-band concerts.
By the time they graduated in 1955, however, they were heading in separate directions. Bangerter was enrolled at the University of Utah; Larew was going to attend Weber State University.
Though they were going to be just 35 miles apart, Larew decided they should date other people.
But Bangerter didn't give up.
"I just persevered," said Bangerter, now 69, smiling.
Six months later, they were back together again and planning to get married.
"We're very different to start with, but I saw all his good points," Larew said. "And he was much nicer than the other boys."
The couple were married on June 15, 1956, at the Temple in Salt Lake City. Three years later, they had their first child, Cori.
In 1960 Bangerter graduated with a degree in secondary education and joined the Army. The family left for Maryland.
"We moved 27 times in 26 years," Larew said. "That's what I get for marrying a Sagittarius!"
They were soon stationed on O'ahu and instantly fell in love with the Islands, where their second child, Leslie Anne, was born.
The family spent most of their time at the beach — either Ke'ehi Lagoon or Fort DeRussy — and checked out different restaurants around the island.
After four years in Hawai'i, Bangerter got orders to move to New Mexico, where their son, Chris, was later born.
Though they've lived all over the world, from Germany to Iowa, they knew someday they'd be back to Hawai'i.
So they bought a townhouse in Mililani in 1973, with the intention of moving back after Bangerter retired in 1984.
Instead, upon retirement, Bangerter took a sales position marketing Hummers internationally. They packed up again and moved to Michigan.
Bangerter's new job sent him all around the world, from Singapore to Saudi Arabia. Since he was hardly at home, Larew decided to move to Hawai'i.
They bought a house in Kailua in 1986. Larew moved in — sans kids — and Bangerter, who still worked out of a Michigan office, visited every other week.
They did this for 10 years.
"When I came here, I had moving burnout," Larew said. "I wanted to find a house and never move again."
While Bangerter traveled the world, Larew focused on a career in real estate. She got her license and joined the staff at Wade Ltd. Realtors in Kailua.
Though Larew loved the independence, living apart had its drawbacks.
That was never more apparent than in 1991. Their house was burglarized, her mother died and their son was sent to Desert Storm — all within 30 days.
"I just felt like a punching bag," Larew said.
In 1996, Bangerter left his sales position; he expected to move to Kailua permanently. But another company asked him to help set up its Portland offices. Not one to settle down, Bangerter took the job. He was gone for 15 months — and during Larew's bout with breast cancer.
When Bangerter returned home — and this time for good — he found his wife strong, healthy and determined to carve out a career in real estate.
In 2000, Larew joined RE/ MAX Honolulu and began entertaining thoughts of running her own business someday.
After much discussion, the couple decided to sell their Mililani townhouse and open their own RE/MAX in June 2005.
"I'm independent, and I wanted to open an office that I'd like to work in," Larew said. "There were a few things I wanted to do my way."
Bangerter came on board as a property manager.
"I've never been happier in my working life," she said. "This is where I was meant to be."
After 50 years together, they've never spent more time together than they do now.
They have regular dates on Friday nights, from having dinner on a cruise ship to eating Ba-Le sandwiches on the beach. The rule: no talking about work.
"In this very busy life, (these dates) give you a little time to recognize why you fell in love with that person," Larew said.
While they credit their faith and values for keeping them together, they believe it's the little things that make marriages work.
Bangerter loves to surprise his wife with flowers. And not just on special occasions.
"That has been worth its weight in gold," he said.
And it's the simple moments now that mean the most to them.
"When I go home and she's sitting in her chair and I'm sitting in mine and I reach across and touch my toes with hers," Bangerter said, "that's a tremendous thing."
Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.