The ex-files: Just chuck those Bobs
By Tara Solomon
Dear Advice Diva:
I'm a 15 year-old-girl and I have a problem that I may be blowing out of proportion, but it's getting on my nerves. A couple of weeks ago, I finally broke up with my boyfriend. (And truth be told, I was glad to do so. I felt stifled.)
One of my friends decided to take that as a go-ahead to ask me out. We'll call him "Bob I," and the ex "Bob II." Quite frankly, I've had my taste of having a boyfriend and find that I very much prefer being single, at least for now. I also haven't seen Bob I in years, since the sixth grade, except for once or twice.
Whenever Bob I proposes a group date, he always invites people I've never met, and I can't introduce him to my friends because I go to a school that's really heavy on the homework and academics, meaning no free time. To top it all off, Bob II has become very clingy. He agreed to remain just a friend, but I've already told both of them in no uncertain terms that I don't want a boyfriend at all. The only options I can think of now are to run away and be a hermit or murder both of them (just kidding). What else can I do, without permanently damaging either of my friendships (because they're both nice people, just not My Boyfriend material)?
—Slowly Going Mad Because They Won't Leave Me Alone
Dear Slowly Going Mad:
Being single, for a month or a lifetime if one is so inclined, can be a beautiful thing. It's certainly less stressful, especially when you're in school and should really be focusing on American lit and geometry (not to nag or anything). And clearing one's mental and emotional space after a stifling relationship is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Why worry so much what the Bobs will think? Take care of yourself. To Bob I: "Thanks for your invitations, but I'm just going to chill for a while. B'bye." To Bob II: "Because we're friends, I know you'll understand my need for my space right now. Thank you, and b'bye." It truly is that easy.
The Advice Diva welcomes your questions — particularly the more amusing ones. Write to her at advicediva@MiamiHerald.com.